Posits from the Matt-Cave

Matt-Man VS Vampires

2010-06-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

So I finally did it. I sat down and watched the horror stories that are Twilight and New Moon. You may ask why and I will answer. I have always said that you shouldn't really condemn something you know nothing about. So now that I have watched them I have the right and ability to say with out a doubt....

They weren't that bad.

Woah had to duck there to avoid flying books and other detritus. No they are not going to make me swoon and I am not going to read the books but they were ok for what they were. You see in that lies the problem. If you are going to see a vampire movie then do not watch them. If you want to see teen angst and pathetically thin romance novels made into movies then they are for you. People it is real simple, there are only like 13 stories in the world that just keep getting rewritten with different names and places. This is the classic girl meets boy. If you removed the vampire/werewolf mythos and made it gang/gang it would be set in an inner city and bang Spike Lee would be directing.

Although I do have to say one thing. I get the whole glitter thing. When I saw it I though of seeing sunlight glinting off of ice on a car. No I don't like glitter vampires but I can see it.

Woops had to duck again.

So to save my head and all this ducking I will change the subject. Well sort of. I have been kind of thinking on vampires and shape-changers as of late. I have this idea of the Children of the wild (shape-changers) and Children of the Blood (vampires). I am also seeing Tribes of the Dark and Clans of the Moon. I don't know details but I they are formulating. Could be interesting.

Well I have to get to bed sometime.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Silence of the Matt-Man

2010-06-16T21:03:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Well it has been a few....months since I posted. What can I say I had nothing to put into words. Actually I did but choose not to, for good reasons. Basically I have decided that this is a crutch of sorts. This and all other forms of online journals add up to a drug. Yup an addictive drug that robs me of my ability to be creative and more importantly SOCIAL. It is all to easy to sit here in the cave and type all of my feelings on this thing and for a short time I feel better but then I look around and realize that I am ALONE. That condition is the central cause of much of my depression and sitting here on my ass typing into this void called the internet DOES NOT ONE DAMN THING TO FIX IT.

So am I going to stop all together? What are you crazy? Of course I am still going to type stuff in here from time to time, in fact I believe I may actually do it slightly more often now that I know the problem. Trying to quit totally is stupid and nothing more then the opposite extreme which is not better for me.

Nope it is going to be a matter of moderation. I will control when I type not my moods or emotions or any other force outside of my will. I will choose to do it and when.

Sounds great and looks even better sitting on the screen, now it is the pesky problem of DOING IT. That is the other problem with this whole blogging business. I say things here and then don't do them. That has nothing to do with the internet and everything to do with me. So here is to kicking the habit of not doing and typing instead....or moping around this cave avoiding everything.

So here is to starting to get the reigns of my life back and kicking this red wagon into high gear.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-man Vs Spring Break

2010-04-01T07:06:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Well it is that time of year that usually means not one thing to me, Spring Break. Well this year it does because if the school is closed then I am not working, well mostly. There are things called charters that occur when some activity is going on and since school is not in session many of the sports are cramming in as many events as possible. There are also what appear to be field trips and that seems like a rip off to me. The whole allure of the "Field Trip" was that it consumed one day of drudgery out of the week.

Oh well I will shed no tears for the loss but instead I will gladly take all the cash I can whilst delivering the students to their various endeavors.

Speaking of endeavors I am taking one this weekend as I venture forth to the lands of the north (well Michigan that is) to visit my Sis. I am going alone and I have to say it feels like the days of old when I would take off for 4 or 5 days down to Carbondale or up to Monmoth to visit friends. Should be interesting. Hope to have stories to tell, unless I consume alcohol in which case I will have these nagging feelings that something happened but not quite able to remember what it was. Oh and of course in that scenario there are the snickers of laughter whenever I enter the local Denny's. Ah Denny's, what fond memories I have created there...for all those that weren't consuming alcohol. But those stories are lost for eternity to alcohol (that is my story and I am sticking to it).

Anyway I am going to go and get ready for work, a whopping 45 minutes that is and I get paid like 2 hours for it. Yeah me!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Too long for Face Book...

2010-03-21T09:04:00.001-07:00

Now to share my thoughts on politics - everyone is entitled to their opinion, it is one of the founding concepts of this nation. Until we are willing to do something about that opinion, to take action on it to make it real, it is nothing more then fantasy. Talk about the politicians till you are blue in the face but until we are willing to act to take away their power we will see no change. They will do nothing to endanger their power and the system that creates it, that is why it is up to us "we the people" to get up off out of our materialistic malaise, figure out what WE want and make it happen. Until then all I hear is wind blowing into the sails of THEIR ship going where they will it.

Changing the name doesn't change the regime. You can put the name Porsche on a Pinto but it doesn't make it a sports car. You can call vinegar wine just don't try and drink it. So why do we suddenly think that simply changing the President will change the Government? I don't know but if you look real hard it hasn't changed anything in the last 20 years and it won't do a darn thing now.

The key to this nation was the RESPONSIBILITY of the populace to keep government in check. We are part of the checks and balances. The minute we became to busy to care about what they were doing we gave up some of the basic rights of the constitution. One cannot exist without the other. Our rights cannot be claimed when we don't take the responsibility to hold on to them. At this point the effort it would take is almost beyond comprehension.

It is my opinion that we have no hope of really changing anything. They rule, they have the power and the brute strength to hold on to it. We have been lead into a cage with the promise of free everything in a system where nothing can be free. The cost is our freedom and our lives, both of which will be spent as they see fit including spilling our and our children s blood overseas for oil and profit.

So go on. Keep up the good work of bitching and moaning. In the end it is the anesthetic with which we all will by euthanized.

Oh and for the record this is why I don't talk politics with most people.

Long time no post......again

2010-03-06T15:12:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

I do believe I used that title before so I added the "again". Life went and exploded all over me, leaving little time or brain power to type witty or relevant messages.

I am alive and kicking. I am driving da bus. I have dreams but they are changing and many are just getting chucked into the bin because I know they are never coming true.

That about sums up things.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Oh wait this should be interesting to see if anything comes of it. Answer these questions in a comment and repost them.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
33) Favorite and least favorite food?
34) Do you believe in God?
35) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Laters

Matt-man Vs Buffy The Vampire Slayer

2009-12-26T22:35:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

Yes I took on Buffy and after over 144 hours of struggle I have to say I am the victor. No it was not mortal combat or combat of any form (well fighting to fit one more episode in before sleep has been a point of internal contention) it was a daunting task that I have been putting off for far to many years.

I don't have the stamina to type much as I really need to go to sleep but I can say this. As I was alive for the entire run of the show and knowing that I only really caught a dozen or so episodes then I am glad that I got the chance to watch it all. I love the show and what it did.

Soon I will probably have to do some diatribes on my favorite episodes and why, as well as a long rant on villains; both awesome and LAME.

I really loved the show and part of me misses it already....you know I could just start watching it again...the DVD's are just sitting right there.

So either I am off to bed or about to put the first disk of season one in again, either way awesome will ensue.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

A long Pause....You Know for Dramatic Effect.

2009-12-13T11:47:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

It has been a long time since I posted anything. I could try and put down a myriad of excuses but they would be just that, excuses. The fact is that I have not wanted to spend the time typing what is going on. That would require me to face what I am feeling and doing(or not doing). More importantly I would be putting it out there for everyone to read about and worry or know and that seems to be the problem. Intimacy.

It took seeing a good friend and having him talk about something that seemed to strike home. He spoke of Erikson's stages of psychosocial development and how he had seen himself walking through them. It struck me that many years ago while at Gameopolis I realized I was emotionally and socially stunted. I may have been 30 something but socially I was far younger, emotionally I was non-existent.

Now I am not saying I am broken or unworthy or whatever else that little voice tries to get me to believe so I turn upon myself and sink into seclusion. Oh I still hear it all the time but I refuse to give it credence, in fact I tend to use it in the opposite way. If it is telling me I am worthless or a failure I take it that I am more worthy and a success. That keeps me out of the mindset it wants.

But that doesn't change that I lack some of the basic development to relate to others. That I sometimes (more often then I like) don't know who I am, what I am doing or why I am here. Oh yes questions that many other can answer but unless I can answer them I fail to achieve the needed goal. I have played the "living up to everyone else's view of me" game and what I got was a vast array of costumes and persona's that had to be sand blasted away to allow me to become whatever I am to become. I do believe it is that fact that allows me to see some of these things more clearly.

It also is the reason for my seclusion. I don't want to fall into old patterns. Left to my devices I will gladly put back on the persona's others present so I can fit in, appease everyone and fulfill that caregiver part of my Virgo/First born nature. I don't want that, not anymore.

I know what I want. I know I need to learn how to get it. I don't know where or what to learn to get it. I need someone who knows and can put me on the right path.

I have a plan for what I want and (vaguely) how to get it.

What I lack is positive feed back from a source that can truly judge what I have planned. A source that I can trust (something hard to come by these days).

Oh and I know I want someone in my life that I can share my life with, all of it. With recent decisions that have changed the paradigm of my life I find the pool of candidates has shrunk exponentially.

Another fun thing is finding out facts that TOTALLY take some of the core truths I held and turning them on their ear. That has been a real laugh riot.

So here I am. All I can do is get up every day and see if I can get a little closer to my goal of getting what I want. Baby steps. Patience sucks!!!!

So to all my friends I say to you don't give up on me. If I disappear once in a while just give me a call, or message me on FB or whatever. Or just wait cause I will get out of the seclusion cave and get some air sooner or later.

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Vs The Schoolbus

2009-10-26T17:50:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I know I haven't posted in awhile. My last few were dark, I was in a dark place at that time. I had to take some time, decide to get my ass up and turn on the light. Then things got hectic with a good friend getting married, which was awesome! Looking for work and finding time (funny how even when unemployed it is a rare commodity) to get stuff done. Worked with my Dad for awhile which was a learning experience, we both have changed a lot and it was good to really realize it. All in all it has been........a royal pain in my backside.

Yes good has come of it but laying in bed at night for hours on end has not been fun. You know when you lay there and for all your effort you mind just goes over and over a fact that is obvious. Yup night after night with the "You ain't got a job" or "How can you be a man if you ain't payin your way", you know all that self deprecating crap. Well after a long (and I do mean long) wait finally things are changing.

I am standing a little taller now. No not because I have a job (although I do have news on that subject) but because I have a right to. I am a man, no things are not going good right now and I have had to get help but who hasn't!? The fact that I have friends and family that are willing to help is a testament to me being a man. No I don't want to live off their generosity but until I get a break I will.

Well on that note, I have gotten said break. About 2 and a half weeks ago a neighbor whom apparently knows me stopped me as I was leaving. She asked how it was going at the post office and I informed her I was no longer there. She had been with the post office as well but also had left. Now she worked at American ShoolBus Company and asked if I was interested in driving a bus. I said yes. Then she said she would get me her card and I should come in to her office.

Then she disappeared. I mean it, I saw no sign of her. Now of course that little voice had its opinion on the subject, I kicked it in the nads, shoved it in its closet and promptly ignored it. With patience I waited and vowed that if I saw her I would approach her again and broach the subject.

Well last Sunday as I left to meet my dad for breakfast there it was. Her card stuck in my cars window. I was elated, giddy and also petrified. I mean I have not worked in over a year and while I have hated a good part of it, I also have liked the freedom that came with it. Well instead of swallowing that feeling I am holding on to it so as to keep reminding myself that this is not my career but only a stepping stone to my ultimate goal.

MY STORE!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes it is going to happen and now I will have some funds to begin working towards it. Cause incorporation papers, business licensees and a host of other things cost money.

So I have been busy reading my little book and prepping for Thursday and the practice test.

I am looking forward to it. I am looking forward to being gainfully employed and I am looking forward to having a little more hope to work with. Not to mention having some money to do certain things with. Scraping by has been no fun.

So that is what is up with me. Oh and I have to post this little guy cause he always makes me laugh and has gotten me through some heavy nights.

I hope you like him too....if it is a him it could be a her. Or maybe it is asexual which would explain a lot. I mean really where is the fun in that?

Excelsior!!!

May the Force be with you

This Pain Without End

2009-08-29T22:54:00.000-07:00

Why am I made to feel this pain
What have I done
How have I earned it or deserve it
My friends crowd around
They seek to help
But how can I tell them
That all it does is end up hurting me
I see them happy in a way I can never be
But seeing them reminds me
It brings the pain back up
Smacks it in my face
This hollow void that has become
Where my love should be
All I want is to share all of me
Is that a crime or atrocity
Please someone out there answer me
But the question goes without an answer
The silence growing like a cancer
Hollowing out another piece of me
And the Pain goes on

The Beast

2009-08-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

I stand at the edge of the end of my soul
Time and time before I have come so close
Now all that remains is a splinter
I will not give in
I will not give up
But what more can you want from me
I have always given what was asked
I never sought reward
But the balance should have been maintained
As I give so should I receive
Now I see that was a lie
The balance does not exist
Nothing ever equals out
As I gave so you took
As you spoke so I did
and now as I reach the end of me
You stand aside and let it be
Expecting me to go away
to fade with no fight
you are wrong
I will not go away
I will have my say
I will make you hate the day
The day you did this to me
For all you effort to make me lame
You assumed I was the same
that the emptiness you have seeded into so many
would bear the fruit of weakness and submission
but now you will see the true darkness in me
I will spew the hate and anger that have brewed
The boiling point is almost reached
the walls are ready to be breached
and when I go
I swear to you
I will take you too
Down with me you shall fall
If it takes me 100 years to destroy all you are
It seems only fair.
I will steal the screams of others despair
Spill their life with out a care
just like you I will become
Destroying everyone who has shone me love
Even as I cut my flesh I was not reveling in hating me
but realizing I do not fear the pain
and letting everyone see
These scars were a badge of honor
Proof that I am not safe
But you miss the waring signs
You did not see
And now you face the creature you have created
The beast that is me.

Matt-Man at a loss for words

2009-08-28T02:46:00.000-07:00

Well just discovered that I managed to lose several pieces of poetry that really meant something to me because I thought it was safe to leave them on the internets. One is safe for the moment but I don't know for how long. So I will have to reclaim them and hope, like that is going to happen.

Yes I am down. Yes I hate myself. Yes I want the hollow pain inside to stop. No I won't do what I would have to do to end it and yes that means suicide. Oh and no finding someone won't fix it cause I had my chances and blew it. I don't have the skills or ability to pick up women and learning at this point is just a little pointless. Kinda like going to school.

I have to accept that I choose to stay outside till way to late in the party and now I am that guy that gets to stand around watching everyone else coming down from the big fun and helping them till I am alone.

As always alone. Empty, hollow, useless, lame, stupid, loser. Yeah for me. Look upon me and know your life is better then mine and find comfort. Stare upon me and realize you are better then me and gain confidence. Take stock of my life and discover how full yours is by comparison and find contentment.

Sleep well knowing that the other end of the bell curve is right in front of you.

I am nothing so let the world rejoice!

Hail the complacent zero!!!!!

Pain is better then nothing at all

2009-08-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

I know my last post said that I was going to talk about rape. Well after careful deliberation I have but one thing to say on that subject.

Rape is BAD.

That is all. Enough is enough. Anything more is a waste of my time.

Yes a waste of my time. There is no happy ending so deal with it. Evil exists in the hearts of humans and always will. We will hurt each other until the end of the world...or our species (which is hopefully soon). Trying to "eradicate" it is like saying you hate sunburn so lets get rid of light. It is not going to happen.

Humans are bastards and monsters when given the chance. We take what we want and don't give a care to whom we hurt in the process. Watch kids sometime when they are playing. Oh yes all is peace until one of them wants something the other has and when the child asks is told no, then watch out. There is taking, pushing and often violence. The victor has the toy and the loser is crying to mommy. It is nature working her wonderful bitchy will. Survival of the fittest, to the victor goes the spoils.

Oh and for all those hopeful people out there...NICE GUYS FINISH LAST! Which in a race where only the winner survives, means extinction. Yup a dirt nap and if lucky a minor footnote about what a mistake it was to even try the hole compassion thing. As the top of the food chain we had better realize that our only predator is ourselves and since nature prefers balance it is going do what is needed.

What does that mean?! Are you kidding me? Are you that naive? It means that with 8 billion of us with no sign of stopping, that one way or another we are going to start dying in rather large numbers. Plague, ice ages, drought you think of the calamity and it is going to happen sooner or later.

OH and to all those "save mother earth" loons out there, WAKE UP! This planet was hit by a friggin meteor the size of a state which wiped out every last dinosaur and it survived. To think that we lowly meat sacks have a chance of doing anything lasting to this planet is arrogant and ignorant.

The ass you had be concerned with saving is the human races. Either that or truly adopt you mindset and start mass murder to relive our burden from the ecosystem. Even then you aren't saving the Earth, just this version of its external life system.

Yeah I sound bitter and jaded. Well I am. Then again so are you if you are really honest about it. I have just decided to stop trying to be all nice and happy while my insides ache with pain and turn hollow.

So as the title says, I have decided to live in my pain instead of nothing at all. Most likely none of you will want to be around me with my voicing this new attitude, so be it. For too long I have asked question of the universe, questions that have gone without an answer, the silence growing inside me like a cancer, until I am hollow.

No more.

Life is a series of suck, fail and illusions of better times. Revel in ignorance or suffer with knowledge. In the end we are all connected but utterly alone. We face the darkness of the ever after with neither friend or family. Cold, naked and ill prepared. There is no shelter here, there or anywhere. Run, run as fast as you can but no matter where you go there you are.

Yup the only hope is that the pain will be less, different or we can create an illusion that it is happiness.

Cut the flesh, let the blood flow, this is the only relief we can know.

and in the end when faced with all this truth we will lie to ourselves and say that happiness is out there, that there is someone for everyone, we can make a difference and that our lives mean something.

Meanwhile a dark creator sits and laughs.

I don't care anymore.

Matt-Man On A Heavy Subject

2009-06-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I just had my mood totally spun around and sent spiraling into the dirt to crash and burn. There was a post about rape that was linked by someone who wanted to know guys thoughts. I read the article attached to the link and got pissed.

No I fumed.

As I tried to comment I kept running out of room. My anger and frustration were boiling out onto the virtual page and getting me nowhere. So I decided to write a post to discuss my feelings on what was said in the article.

This is a warning. I may piss some people off. I am not going to be all happy go lucky Matt about this. So you may wish to miss the next post.

What I will say is this. I am not going to apologize for what I write. I have warned anyone that reads this and I will do it again at the beginning of my next post.

After that all bets are off and the gloves won't even leave the dressing room

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Loves YouTube!

2009-06-11T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I was tooling around and I found this in a strange kind of way. I love looking up something only to find something else that is way cool as well. So here is what I found I hope you get a laugh out of it as well.

Ah hahahaha it still makes me laugh. That is funneh! I found it at braxtanfilm.com There are some other funny things there as well as two fan made Ghostbusters films. Fun is to be had by all.

So give them a look and have some fun.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and a Moment of Truth

2009-05-29T18:10:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I am always looking and listening for the wisdom of the divine to slip in the mundane. Today I find it from years ago, a show called "Tales of Tomorrow". The opening is narrated by a spokesperson/actor and he promotes the sponsor which is to be expected. First there was a watch band making company and now it is the Masland carpet company. An interesting fact about the Masland company is that back in the day they printed a company magazine called the Shuttle. It contained the usual announcements of births, marriages, anniversaries and so on but it also had editorials. These allowed employees the ability to express their thoughts and ideas openly. It is from one of these that the spokesperson read from and the light of truth winked at me.

Here now is the transcript of what he said.

The force of the atom is insignificant compared to the explosive force of human nature. The force that we need to consider is that which brought man from the darkness of the cave to the lights of a cathedral. It is the energy of man's ambitions striving eternally for a place in the sun and it must be controlled. Not by international agreement nor by legislation destroying mans freedom, it must be controlled by the individual himself. The formula is a simple one, is man to young to practice it? It is simply the golden rule "Do unto other as you would have other do unto you".

I don't know the edition nor do I know the author's name all I do know is that here is a peek at truth. I hope it touches each and everyone that reads it.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Returns to Fight Another Day!!!

2009-05-29T09:21:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I know I have been rather lacks in my posting and there is a good reason for that. I had nothing worth typing out into the world of cyber space. Now I do.

I got back this week from an important trip to my favorite place in the world, Lothlorian. No not the place in Tolkien's novels but a place here on Earth. There are a ton of stories there but the rule stands "What happens at Loth stays at Loth". What I can say is that I got an answer to something. So here is a musical representation of where I was and what I asked for...enjoy!

Time doesn´t wait,
Wait for no man.
So get on with it.
there´s no escape,
Try if you can.
And, oh, this world is crazy.
And, oh, it blows my mind.
Oh, it seems like everybody's rushing,
Just to get to the back of the line.

Well I walk through the valley of
The shadow of death.
And I dance with the Devil
but I got no regrets.
He told me next time your in
town drop me a line.

Oh, just gimmie a sign.
Let the world fall apart.
Just gimmie a sign
don´t leave me in the dark.

I couldn´t shake that little voice
Ringing in my head.
Wanted to run away from myself.
So I asked for a wise
man to make me wise
He said son the answer's
contained inside
I choked on the fortune,
But I feel fine

Oh, just gimmie a sign,
Let the world fall apart
Just gimmie a sign,
don´t leave me in the dark.
Just gimmie a sign.
[ Kevin Rudolf Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]

You know they're gonna aim at you.
You know they'll try to take from you
Just gimmie a sign cause I
need it this time

Stand up (stand up)
Stand up (stand up)
Stand up (stand up)
Stand up, Stand up
Stand up (stand up)
Stand up (stand up)
Stand up (stand up)
Stand up (stand up)

I got in some trouble way
back in the day.
Spent a few years tryin' to find my way
I broke a few rules, I
ain´t payin' the fine.

Oh, just gimmie a sign.
Let the world fall apart.
Just gimmie a sign,
don´t leave me in the dark.
Just gimmie a sign.
Oh yea, just gimmie a sign.
Oh yea, just gimmie a sign.
Yea, oh, oh yea, oh
Just gimme a sign.

You know they're gonna aim at you.
You know they'll try to take from you
Just gimmie a sign cause I
need it this time

Gimme a Sign by Kevin Rudolf

So that about sums it up. Looking forward to a phone interview in about 40 minutes. Not the perfect answer but it is step in the right direction...I have a plan!

Wait? What?

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

A Matt-Man for All Quizes

2009-04-29T14:54:00.001-07:00

Hail and well met

It has been awhile since I posted a quiz and I liked this one so here it is...

I'm tired of all those surveys written by high school girls. Here's one for folks who are a tad older. Thanks to Tim Scallon for posting this originally.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? Insurance because it is legal blackmail and extortion

2. Do you miss being a child? Part of it but wouldn't want to go back.

3. Chore you hate the most? Dusting because it is never done and I don't do anything to cause it. Dishes are not problem cause I made them dirty and the same goes for laundry but dusting....I hate it.

4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? Um well define romantic and in what context. I will guess on the lowest common denominator and say over a year ago.

5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be? The concept of going back in time to change things “if you could”. But then no one would ask these questions and I wouldn't have to go back at which point they would start asking these questions and I would and then they wouldn't and I wouldn't while they would....Yeah head explodes somewhere in here and someone says “If it wasn't for that horse I wouldn't have spent that year in collage”

6. Name of your first grade teacher? Hmmmm have to really think about that one. I do believe it was Mrs. Venezia at Algonquin Elementary School.

7. What do you really want to be doing right now? Either running my own store or having sex, both would be like one of the things on my bucket list.

8. What did you want to be when you grew up? Well that changed from a scientist to artist to absolutely nothing (no joke). This has been said to be the “go back and change thing” in my life but I disagree. If I had approached life any different then I would not be who I am now and since I like who I am now I wouldn't change me one darn bit.

9. How many colleges did you attend? Not a single one. Visited several but never attended...well except the center of higher learning known as Screw U and the Collage of E.A.B.O.D.

10. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now? Well it was already dirty and since I had to clean I saw no point in messing another shirt.

11. What are your thoughts on gas prices? Too high but we keep on paying so they keep on raising. Will we ever learn?

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? Why is a alarm going off I didn't set it?

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night? Hope I can fall asleep.

14. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Just one? Grrrrrr Stan Lee.

15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle? Yes several times but only one with another car.

16. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer? I refuse to answer due to my views on volunteering.

17. Get up early or sleep in? Get up so I can get shit done.

18. What is your favorite cartoon character? WOW that is a hard question. I have had my share that is for sure. I guess I would have to say Ben Tennyson from Ben 10. But then you have Number 21 and 24 from Venture Bros. Who never fail to bring a laugh.

19. Favorite thing to do at night with your girl/guy? OH come on this is a trick question right? I mean the obvious answer is so painfully obvious. Anyone who doesn't think this right away is just lying to themselves. Let's face it the first thing we all thought is “watch TV.” What? You thought I was gonna say sex didn't ya? HA HA

20. When did you first start feeling old? Oh please old is a relative term and only refers to the interaction of this flesh body with the surrounding energy/matter matrices. I am immortal, when this body returns to its natural state I will move on and enter that from which I came. May the Force be with you!

21. Favorite lunch meat? Corn Beef

22. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart? Well a few months ago I would have said Brachs chocolate covered peanuts, before that one of those funny T-shirts they have for like 10 dollars. Now it is DVD's from their $5 bin.

23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? No I consider it an institution. And that is something that you enter when your not right in the head and leave it when you are better. So you must be crazy to enter it and the only time you will be sane is when you leave it. Oh and no I have never been married but I have known far to many who were (note the past tense there).

24. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? Right like I am going to tell anyone I know this little secret. I would never live it down but would spend the rest of my life being ridiculed at every turn. Not going to happen.

25. What's your favorite drink? Hmmm anything alcoholic :)

26. Who from high school would you like to run in to? With my car? Any of them. LOL just kidding. Hmm pretty sure I still talk to all the ones I want to, or at least follow them on a Internet social network.

27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? 101.9 or 103.9

28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives? Neither.

29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? Not realizing what it was when I was in it and accepting it for that which it was.

30. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work? …..well I don't sit at work, um I sit facing my computer and although it is cool, I don't think it deserves to be considered a person.

31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes? Hee Hee nope but I have used one.

32. Last book you finished reading? Down the Road

33. Do you have a teddy bear? Currently I probably do somewhere but not intentionally it is just a left over from when I was young.

34. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? Oh wouldn't you like to know!

35. Do you go to church? Only when someone is getting married or buried.

36. How old are you? As old as the world when it was young and as young as the stars themselves.

Oh alright I am 39 and will be 40 in September.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Runs with Schisms

2009-04-26T21:24:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Long time no post. Well things have been wacky. As you can see I have made some changes, all for the better. Notice the new section "Places I say "You should go to"". Also notice that inside that section is a link to the Matt-Man gift shop. Yes I am a shameless whore. But don't think that I just have stuff with my logo on it cause I don't. I also have stuff with other cool logos that I have come up with. Quaint sayings that I have heard and decided to do the work and put them on a something or other. Now you can go and show you support if you like and buy something cool.

I plan on having a really long post soon but right now I am tired and need to sleep. Till I type at you again...

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!!

Matt-Man VS Funk-enstien!

2009-03-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

This hit home as a real cause we can all get behind so listen and get ready to pull out your rupies, stars, fruit...whatever your current game currency is to make a donation...

Yes for only pennies a day you can clean a gamer bringing joy, and lemony freshness, into his (lets face it guys we stink) life....and the life of all those around him.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Says Goodbye

2009-02-13T21:58:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

This is not original this was sent to me but it was so relevant I had to re post it here.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to
come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with
sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school
for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an
unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not
inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the
will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of
coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded
a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by
his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son,
Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
nothing.

Matt-Man, The Lone Wolf

2009-02-07T22:25:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met.

I just posted a note on Facebook where I made a statement. I don't normally go off on self explaining rants but this time I kinda want to. Not so much to tell everyone out there anything but instead to get my thoughts in a cohesive matrix so I can understand them. In other words get my ducks in row so I don't quack up. Ha I made a funny...Oh yes I did!

Some facts about me. I have had exactly 2 girlfriends in my life. The first was in high school and her name was Nicole Pascal. She was 2 years older then I was at the time, a bit taller (can you imagine) and about half again as big, not fat just big. She had an amazing smile, could laugh the sting off a bee and for a short time we were in love.

What happened you ask? Well life happened as did the 80's. For all the forward thinking that was supposedly going on it was still taboo to date a black woman. Between my parents (worried about the rest of my family, truly) and her family and friends we broke up. I do believe I broke it off, for which I still have to bash my head in when I think about it.

Just goes to prove that if you are thinking of doing something because someone else thinks you should, stop, hit yourself with a big stick and loudly say "NO". Then dig a big pit in the ground gather a bunch of squirrels and put them in there for, say a month so they get good and ravenous. Then invite the people over who were telling you what to do and shove them in and tell them you think they should get mauled by a horde of ravenous squirrels. I think they will get the picture and if not who cares cause they have been mauled by ravenous squirrels. Oh and for shits and giggles set the squirrels on fire cause that makes it cooler.

So that was when I was like 15/16. Now we can jump ahead to 2006 I am 37 and I meet Terri. An amazing woman who liked me. I liked her and we had a good time for about a year and a half. This time it was her that did the breaking and she sighted that we were going in different directions. There is a tome of things my mind has come up with as to why she left me but all in all it dose not matter, she left and that was that.

I still love her and want her to be happy. I mean it now as I meant it when I first said it. I found out she is with someone and it seems she is happy. I am glad for her. '

So when I realized she was in a relationship I sorta realized that I am not. I am no closer to one either. I have no idea how to start one. More importantly I don't believe I am capable of really having one. Part of it is my wiring and part of it is my source code.

I won't go into details but some of my problems come from my parents (in case you didn't get the metaphor) and the rest come from my thought process, how my brain works (the wiring).

I don't have radar of any kind.

Recently I went to a bar just to see what it was like. To be honest I freaked. I sat there for about 25 minutes and realized I had not one thing in common with anyone in that room. More to the point there was not one single woman there I would have wanted to talk to...at all. I left having made some great deductions and that has led to this post.

I am not going to find anyone I want to be with at a bar/club/normal public gathering. I need to be with someone that gets my shit, period. I am not going to have a relationship with someone that is going to resent my time spent gaming, cause it is going to be the source of my income so if you dis my gaming you dis me. Besides I want to share my life with someone not keep it in the closet most of the time only to take it out for an airing once in a while.

The ability to speak like a normal person escapes me. I either speak to softly or to fast. I am not that spontaneous when it comes to speaking in a group. I just don't have the skills. It reminds me of an episode of Brady Bunch (yeah how corny is this, equating my situation to that show) where Peter tries to be bicycle repair person. The owner tells him that he gets it in his brain but something is lost in the translation to his hands. Well that is me with my brain and mouth, they just don't speak the same language.

Now we come to a rather weighty subject. Me. I know that everyone has said that it is not a big deal but it is. I am over weight. Now I have lost some of it but it never seems to truly go away. For a couple of years I have tried to eat right, work out and generally mind my calories and foods. Although it did result in some changes it never went all the way. It stopped cold and nothing I would do changed it. That last hurdle just laughed at me month after month. The harder I worked the less things changed. My waist never dropped past a certain amount (although I know my bones have something to do with it) and my belly never went away. Frustration is all it got me. Now I don't have access to a gym and even though I could some of this stuff at home it just get harder and harder to get motivated here. I feel hopeless in this matter which only leads me to make bad decisions. Enough of this subject.

Wow that was depressing. I could go further into my current situation, being unemployed and all but that will go nowhere. Besides this has gone on long enough and I need to come to the point.

With all of this weighing on my mind I have decided to accept my lot in life of being alone. Enough with all this worrying about it, stressing over it and letting it get me down. It is what it is and there is little I can do to change it. Yes there are some things but I see little hope of getting worth while results out of expenditure of resources.

I am letting all the hoping and dreaming about not being alone go. No more crazy plots or plans to find the right person. No sleepless nights depressed about it.

I will be alone. I will accept being alone. I will move on and live my life, alone.

Well that about sums it up. I am done for now.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Just Might Be Crazy

2009-01-30T20:36:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

Let it not be said that I am sane in any way. Although if you asked many I am sure it would boil down to me being a rather uninteresting person. Probably my most notable trait is being late for just about everything, unless I leave an hour beforehand. Soft spoken if at all and when I do speak it is at the speed of thought so it is hard to understand, a problem I am going mad trying to fix. Not that much to look at, tried losing weight only to have it laugh and take a seat on the sofa. I am not getting down on myself just stating facts. Oh one more is that I seem to attract women that are already taken...which has its own set of luggage as far as mental baggage goes.

So all of this sums up a rather boring person, not prone to flights of mad fancy (I'M FANCY!).

NOT!!!!!!

SO NOT!!!!!

Why do you ask? Well if anyone with my history ever thought of doing what I am going to do they would surgically remove four of their vertebrae and eat their own ass.

At first when I first was confronted with this idea I laughed inside and I mean really laughed inside. Then I stepped back and just chalked it up to mid life crisis, you know the red (insert appropriate sports car name here) to prove having a working penis or some such tripe. Then I realized that for the most part if I can recognize it as such then it really isn't. Much as a person that can question if they are sane is sane, maybe some problems but not looney. Then again thinking of what I am thinking is proof positive sanity is long gone.

This is as far from rational thought as it can get. Add a unhealthy dose of WTF and you are only a state or two away from where I must be...but I like it here.

I have to face it that I will never be able to go back to what I was when I was a simple cog in someone's machine. Nope I have changed, evolved, been transformed (well given my size there is definitely more then meets the eye Neal cringes) into a new creature and trying to go back is just going to end in failure.

I bet some of you have figured it out already but some probably haven't. For those that have good for you, although until I tell the world you won't know for certain. For everyone else...HA you will just have to wait.

I know something you don't know!!!!

Yeah I am a grown up....Well, mature....Well, old.

Nah I am as young as when the world was new and the sun first shown its light upon creation.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Drops the Ball

2009-01-25T21:28:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

Well this is going to be a short post (at least I hope it will). It was brought to my attention this evening that the game I was running on Monday's...sucks. That is not what was said but there is no denying it is true. When a player states that they get stressed out and bummed out after a session that defines "sucks".

Yes I was upset but not at them, at myself. Yes it hurt but not as much as it would have if they had not said anything at all. Yes after hearing it I can see it plain as day.

I could fill this post pointing out all the ways I created suckage. There is a whole essay on "What not to do as a GM". All that would end up being is me tearing myself down and beating myself up over it. Instead I am just going to be proactive about it.

It's dead and I am going to bury it.

This is an edit of the original post. I am not going to give up. I am going to get back on the damn horse and I am going to ride into the sunset.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Laughs....Cause Its True!!!!

2009-01-22T09:31:00.001-08:00

Hail and well met

This here is a post from an email I got from the G-mail. It was sent along by a good friend and to say it made me laugh is an understatement. According to the title of the email it comes from Jeff Foxworhty. Here it goes, know you are going to laugh as much as I did.....Cause its true!

Here's to Chicago ! Ya gotta love it!

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Chicago

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Chicago

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Chicago

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Chicago

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Chicago

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in Chicago

If you can drive 75 mph th rough 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Chicago

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Chicago

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Chicago

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Chicago

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Chicago

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Chicago

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Chicago

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in Chicago

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Chicago friends & others, you live or have lived in Chicago.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Sees the Living Color

2009-01-19T13:54:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

Not going to spend a great deal of time. I find that in many ways this whole blogging thing is more trouble then its worth. Time spent spewing bits of tripe about my life, where I am, where I was, what I am feeling. All of it goes nowhere and accomplishes nothing.

I have begun to see that I live in a moment. From one to the next. I don't connect them nor to I dwell on them when they have passed. It is the one reason my memory is so terrible. Recent events have shown me this and dredged up some old memories. I could have gotten depressed over them. The loss of something I loved, the way it all happened again later on. The fact that I am sitting here right now unemployed and on the verge of being homeless again.

It would be expected and accepted if I said my life was null and void.

But I won't. I don't. All I can think and say is this...

"Let there be Light."

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Mourns The Passing Of a Great Man

2009-01-14T18:47:00.000-08:00

KHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Hail and well met

It is a little shabbier in the world today. Things are a bit dimmer and lack a sense of elegance. Today Ricardo Montalban passed away at the age of 88. He is known for his portrayal of Khan in both the original Star Trek series and the second feature motion picture "The Wraith of Khan". He also stared on the TV series Fantasy Island alongside Hervé Villechaize in the late 70's. He lent his amazing voice to cartoons such as Freakazoid and Kim Possible. All of this just scratches the surface of his long career.

I remember him with a strong sense of what a man should be like. Strong but gentile. Firm but not forceful. There are no words that can truly convey what he was to me but I can tell you that all of us should strive to be just a little like him and the world would be a better place.

The world he has entered is now a better place then it was. My thoughts and prayers are with his family.

November 25, 1920 - January 14, 2009

This post was scored by Amazing Grace from the soundtrack to Star Trek 2 The Wrath of Khan.

May the Force be with you.

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man: It's a Brand New Year, Day, Life!

2009-01-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

This post was scored with Bon Jovi's "It's My Life".

Hail and well met.

I want to yell out to the world something. I am not doing the whole resolution thing. I reject the idea as a whole. No I am not saying that there are not things that I need to change, well actually I am. You see I realize that I cannot change these things, it is impossible.

I see that the only way I have of trying to change things in me is to plan a course of action based on my perceptions of those things in my life I want to change. My best analogy is drawing a course (which is basically drawing a line) from my past through my present towards my future. If I use my perceptions of my character which are all based on my mental recall of events and how I felt about them then I am using the exact things that are my problem to try and plot a new course away from them. I make them an integral part which makes it impossible to remove them because then I lose them as a reference point for this new course. I may not be making sense to anyone with words so here is a visual aide.

Okay here is the basic set up. I am in the now or the present I have past through certain events in my life that have that are represented by the circles. These are all a part of my memory and I think of them when events happen that resemble them. I relive those moments and feel the echoes of the feelings I had when they happened. No matter good or bad if I attempt to plot my course of actions based on those events all I will accomplish is reincarnating those same events over and over again. Here is another visual aide...

You see it just repeating, reliving and reincarnating the same things over and over again. Nothing changes and I don't grow. Life doesn't like things that don't change, it is the purist axiom I know.

Change is the only constant in the universe.

So events and influences enter my life every day that want to turn me down a different direction and bring me to new circumstances. But these are not the circumstances I planned for, not the destination I set my course for. So what happens when I come across them? Well here is are a couple of diagrams that will show you..

Everything changes whether I like it or not. Even by trying not to change causes changes. I become resistant to everything that wants to bring change into my life and with that resistance comes conflict. This conflict is always viewed as being against me changing my circumstances, except the truth is that I am not changing my circumstances but recreating them. So the reality is that I am fighting a new set of circumstances, the very thing I really want and forcing myself to relive the circumstance I wanted to change. The real kicker is that I end up blaming the new circumstances trying desperately to reveal themselves to me for the relived circumstances I wanted to change and then start all over again.

But there is hope. First I must recognize the events that are driving my course of actions, I must then understand what I am doing by using them to plan a way to change them and finally I must ACCEPT them as part of my PAST and put them back there where they belong. It looks something like this...

It is freeing to release all those memories are just echoes of the past and put them where they belong. It is unnerving to realize that to really change I must do nothing more then let go of any ideas or plans to accomplish that change. That nothing I could buy, achieve, possess or even fall in love with could ever bring about that change. That is not to say that buying things or achieving things etc. is inherently bad for me, it is in many cases necessary for me to do those things to simply survive. No it is when I believe that I will achieve a change in myself from those outside events, beyond the immediate rush of getting what I believe will change me which quickly fades leaving me with the truth that nothing has really changed, that they are bad. So it is the intent with witch I embark on these events that determines their inherent good or evil.

So now with this new freedom I find that I can chart a completely free course that is not confined to any particular direction or outcome. I can let the events that are before me bring me the challenges of facing them without allowing my past experiences to determine the outcomes and emerge a newer and newer being. Growing in great new world, which I am now a free flowing part in.

Now I cannot take credit for the basis and content of the idea, that comes from a teacher named Guy Finley. Look him up on the web at

www.Guyfinley.com

I just saw a way to express the ideas he was teaching that resonated with me and I hope will with everyone else.

That is why I renounce that tradition of New Years Resolutions because I don't need to try and change anything in my life. I must except that what I have done is done and in the past, I must understand that nothing I could try and do to escape from who I was then will ever accomplish anything other then reincarnating that person in me over and over again while depriving me of the opportunities to become a new person.

I look forward to facing this new year with an open heart and mind. Let the Creator give me those experiences that I must face to change me into a part of the larger world (I don't mean the big picture either, but the spiritual world that goes far beyond this one and yet is all around us every day).

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Looks to the Silver Screen

2008-12-18T19:00:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

I have not been excited about movies much lately. Nothing seems to be coming out that I really can get behind. I have been scouting out films that are coming out and really just yawning. Yes there is the approach of The Watchmen and after reading the comic I must admit to a little interest but not excitement. Okay there is the release next year of Star Trek by J.J. Abrams which looks good but it is just another Star Trek film (I wonder what number it is so I can tell if its going to be good).

Fanboys is on the docket but after, what is it now two years of waiting it has lost its zing. Ok I will give you this little gem that just came on the radar Aliens VS Monsters, a little animated ditty. It looks funny and has Seth Rogen doing voice work.

Oh and please don't mention Underworld 3, cause I do not believe in cruliety to animals let along beating a DEAD HORSE. I must aside here..

What is the never ending pursuit of making films that predate the first ones? What is the point? Did Lucas really believe that telling us the story would be entertaining? WE ALREADY KNEW THE ENDING!!!!! For all that truth not one single director or writer has ever decided to pull a curve ball out and creatively show how one could have perceived the facts the way it is in the earlier movies but in reality (movie reality that is) things are completely different. Or here is an idea and I am just spit balling here, FILM THE PREQUEL FIRST!!!!!! You know the idea of telling a story from beginning to end. What a concept! Of course that would require some guttsy little thing called imagination, why use that when we can just take a story and reverse engineer a story from it. Okay that is not fair to every prequel out there, some were thought of before the first films were made, they just couldn't get the first story filmed. But come on people at some point just say no.

Sorry for that but it has been building for some time, now back to my original post.

So movies coming out that don't really get my blood pumping, yeah that would be most of them. Maybe I am just not getting into the mood for other reasons. All I do know is that things are not shaping up to be box office anytime soon. Oh well more time for the internet (no I don't mean porn...mostly), reading (again not porn...at all), painting (yeah try and fit porn into that one) and working on my games (No I don't mean sex games...well there is sex like material in them but they are not about sex...mostly...I am going to shut up now).

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!!

Matt-Man Sees Celuloid!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!

2008-12-15T12:09:00.001-08:00

Hail and well met

I had to take the time to stop and tell the world about all of this. While working on my game for tonight I stumbled across a fact that will shake the world. Nay it shall destroy the world the recreate then shake it like a evil British nanny on uppers!

Long ago I was foraging for something to watch. While braving the steamy aisles of Hollywood video I stumbled across a film that only a few have appreciated as much as I did. It was a gentle breeze in the desert of mind numbing films based on realism and factual data. It freed me from the chains of substantive plots and things.

That wondrous modern marvel that did so much for film making. What did it do for film making, you ask? It made advancements in film making, that's what it did! That film is known as...

This film was amazing but I thought it a fluke...I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
wrong!

After so many years I have stumbled on a truth like stumbling on a child's tricycle in the rain after a bad day at work cause someone decided to mail order toilets and you had to deliver them in the rain and cold only to find they are not home and because they requested "Signature Confirmation" you cannot just leave them on the stinking porch and have to lug them back into your van to take back to the stupid office, only to arrive and get yelled at cause the customer showed up at the office to pick them up even though you said it was a better idea to leave them there but were told it was your job to take them by your boss who is now yelling at you cause you took them....sorry I had a flash back there...What was I saying? OH truth...yeah right...well the truth is they made a SEQUEL.....

What happy days! Another movie filled with awesome bad acting (and on purpose too!!!) even worse special effects and all the bad jokes one could want in a film.

But even better then that was discovering that the production company of these films has chosen to take up the heavy mantle of making even more bad horror/sic-fi/thriller movies! Just listen to some of these titles!

Dark and Stormy Night!!!

The Trail of the Screaming Forehead!!!

The Restroom!!!

and!!!

Voyage to the Planet of Space!!!

Oh the glee I feel. I am giddy as a school girl...boy I meant boy...although those skirts are quite freeing...Um well if any of you are as psyched as I am just visit this website for more info.

www.bantamstreet.com

I just don't know what to do with my self...oh wait I was supposed to be prepping for tonight's game,

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

May the Farce be with you (yeah its a play on words so what)

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Faces the Great Tentacled Menace

2008-12-05T18:08:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

Well I have been keeping busy looking for work and selling off parts of my past on Ebay (Mmm cash for childhood memories). Whilst doing that I often find time to bounce around and see many strange things on this marvel call the Interblag...no wait that is the Enterblog...Err what is it called? Oh yes the Internet! Anyway here is one thing I found and had to laugh at.

I should mention that if you are not a gamer or have any experience with H.P. Lovecraft's works then you probably won't think it is funny...So read a book!

Well that was fun. Some people are wondering what I have been up to and I really had to think hard about how to answer that. At first I thought I was doing well but that was self delusion. After some self realizations I found I was scared to a dark place that I had thrown away my only chance for success...working for someone else. Which brought up the fact that I am not really made to be a cog in someones machine. The freedom I enjoyed as the owner and manager of Gameopolis is like a drug. Once you have had it you really want it back. That feeling of getting up and doing what you want (yes I had to show up to the store but once there I was able to do things I wanted to) is amazing. Now while working for the Post Office there was little of that but I needed that as a stabilizing factor. The loss of the store hit me hard and I need something stable so I could recover. Unfortunately I fell into a small trap and got comfortable being a drone (please don't get upset at that term but metaphorically that is what I was). Well comfortable is the wrong word because even though I was there I did want something more, I just didn't do anything about it. Ah complacent is the word. Yes I was complacent and it cost me. Well I am not complacent any more which sucks since now I must be patient while things work out.

Where was I? Oh yes I was not fine, had fears to face and things to adjust to but the worst part was the evident withdrawal into my shell.

What shell you ask? Oh come on people you all know me well enough to know I have a real thick shell and I can crawl into it and lose...like years. In fact I am sure I have lost a few recently as well as a few relationships. So what do I have to do? Ha that is obvious, open my mouth, stretch my fingers and communicate with people.

So I know what I have to do and I am going to do it. Of course wanting to get my games produced is vying for a ton of my attention and then there is this stupid thing called online TV shows..like entire seasons of shows I wanted to see but missed. They keep sucking me in.

Like now I am stuck on Bleach, an anime. I liked it to start but now it is just becoming a variation on Dragonball (insert random letter here) with nothing but fights for the sake of fights and every episode the main character gets his ass kicked (and by that I mean nearly killed, sheezh this guy has had more come backs then Brett Favre...Oh Jesus is calling, he wants his gimmick back) only to make some self discovery and PRESTO he turns it around and kicks ass. Then next episode or so it happens again. I liked the story but it is getting harder and harder to follow it between the bloody "I don't want to die. I have to save Rukia." I mean this guy makes Anikin Skywalker look like Chuck Norris. Anyway I am almost done with available episodes, cause I get hooked watching, so I should be able to wean myself away from it. At least until the next season is posted Ha Ha.

Ok well this turned out to be more then I wanted to type but it feels good to be shouting out again. I will talk/type to many soon.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Returns...Again

2008-11-21T14:51:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met!

Yeah I know I haven't been updating at all for the past few months, heck I haven't been dating either. I could go into a long explanation of what has been happening in my life, losing the job at the Post Office, being unemployed and selling my old toys on ebay to try and pay the rent (not really working out the way I hoped but getting by).

Yeah I could do those things but then again....SURVEY!!!

What's the last DVD you watched?
Well that would be the not so good Mindhunters, yet again proving that every so many years they take Val Kilmer's carrier off the back lot for an airing.

What are you wearing at the moment?
Well I would love to say nothing...just for the shock value but I am clothed. Pair of PJ pants-blue, red t-shirt, socks and boxer briefs. Oh too much info? HA

Who is your favorite writer?
Favorite of all time or flav of the month? Do you mean as a person or for their works? As a person I have to say Sam Clemins (Mark Twain to those with out a classcial education). Works wise I have to say Michael A. Stackpole for the X-wing Squadron books (I LOVE THEM). Falvor of the month right now is a toss up between Kim Harrison (Dead Witch Walking, The Good, the Bad and the Undead as well as Every Witch Way but Dead) and Caleb Carr (the Alienist and The Angel of Darkness). All time is Shel Silverstein (A Light in the Attic and Where the Sidewalk Ends) a poet with the imagination of a child that gave inspiration and a few good laughs.

What is your favorite scent?
Ok if I truly answer this it will be marked as objectionable material so I will say...campfire (my second favorite)

What's that one movie you can watch over and over again and never get tired of?
Only one! You communists! Just one! Ok if I have to say just one then I go with...Transformers (the new life action one) if you had given me more then one I would have said the REAL Star Wars Trilogy (you know the first Trilogy)

What do you drink the most?
pepsi (or like soda) and sugar free Walmart kool-aid with a smatering of water...ok and alcohol.

Is there a useless thing that you cannot brace yourself to throw out?
HA yeah lots of them. Right now I am looking at a Stuffed animal from my childhood for one.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
Wait I "grew up" AHHHHHHHHHHH! Why didn't anyone tell me?!

What are your favorite song(s) of the moment?
Ah of the moment (should have been this specific with the writer question)
"Hot n Cold" - Katy Perry
"Disturbia" - Rihanna

Which characters are overrated?
Oh this is a good one. Any of the cliched, angst ridden, sullen, stereotypical ones from "Twilight" or any other of the plethora of sappy vampire/love stories that will now inundate the theaters and video stores.

What 3 people would you invite to dinner?
Again with the limiting!! Only 3 people? Are you kidding? Do married or engaged people count as one or two? Are we talking a friendly dinner or something a little more intimate (wait you asked about 3 so intimate would be a little freaky...FUN but freaky for an online survey) Um well if couples beyond the dating stage count as one then Nicky/Chris, Val/Mel, Ruth...gosh that was hard cause there is also Joe/Allison not to mention Miles, Dennis/Corrine, Mike/Rita and a whole load of other people that I cannot remember right now.

What is your current desktop?
Ah Ha! The Matt-Symbol!!! Soon it will be the Matt-Symbol over the sky line of Chicago, as soon as I find where I uploaded it to that is.

What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Um...well...I kinda stol...borro...annexed it but the person in question is awesome, amazing and a cornicopia of other multi-sylable adjectives.

What are you afraid of?
Um well in truth spiders, big ones. Zombies are a close second but they don't jump around and climb ceilings and are big enough to hit with rocks, so not so much.

Where would you love to go in your next holidays?
Holiday? What is this you speak of? I know not of "Holiday".

What are you into right now?
Well I am digging this survey...I also find working out kinda cool. Roleplaying has shot back up in the race. Ebaying is cool as well.

What did you do today?
Up at something o'clock. Watched a auction (more like baby sat it) so I could win a cheap new printer. Went and worked out. Came home and ate food (Mmmm food) watched some Criminal Minds and then did this fine survey.

What do you want?
Well again I push the envelope by answering but I will be honest. Hot, Steamy, Kinky, Freaky...intercourse (HA you though I was going to say sex...well I kinda did but you were thinking of the word) Of course that is expected as I am a guy, I am single and I am breathing. It is also a spur of the moment thing and not a long term goal...well maybe not. Anyway I want to earn enough money to stop worrying about having enough money to do the things I want to do.

What should you be doing right now?
Right now I should be doing...having way more fun then I am!

What's the meaning behind your LJ username/name/nicknames you go by?
Well there are two names I have used for my various online persona's
Xens - which is a stylized way of saying zen and is refering to an idea I had for a book called "Xen's art of miniature painting".
Akeranzu - This is the joining of two different names, Aker - a Egyptian god with two Lion heads that stands at the door of Death and allows Ra through every morning but keeps the Serpent Apep in and Anzu a Mesopitaian Lion headed Eagle that stole the tablets of destiny.

Hey you asked. If you want a better explaination the ask me.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Gives the Skinny...Buzz...Citrep

2008-08-16T11:43:00.001-07:00

Ok here is the address where the ceremony and reception are taking place and respective times.

The Sherwood Room (Garden Manor)
4722 W. Armitage Ave., Chicago IL 60639

Ceremony starts at 4:00 (Doors will be closed) ends at 4:30 with everyone leaving the room so it can be set up for the reception that starts at 5:00.

Matt-Man Mellows Out

2008-08-06T11:39:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I just re-read my last post and WOW, I was just a little pissed. Well things are much mellower now. I am in the process of working a whole week for my regular, babying my van along while trying to locate a new vehicle that fits in my price range (meaning free). Next week is GenCon and I am going (YIPPEEEEEE!!! does a little dance) albeit for only 1 and a half days but I am going. Right now it appears that Neil is going with me which will help defray some of the costs as well as hooking up with Miles and Kristen (sorry if I misspelled the name).

Yup even though people might think I was doing badly and should be stressed, I am not. Well part of me is trying to be but I just won't let it. Things are fine, things are going to be fine and that is that. Maybe delusional but it works for those people that we all see and say "I wish I could live in their world", so I am trying it.

Starting the Supers game and it is going well. SAS (Silver Age Sentinels) is a great system that I wish I had discovered years ago. I am getting into the grove of GM'ing again which feels good. I am also loving making villains, some truly evil while others are crazy and some are just sad...evil but sadly so. Oh and lets not forget the lame ones cause we all know what fun they are. I mean really a guy in a robot chicken suit that can fly is amazing...yeah I know chickens can't fly but just try and tell him that while he is crowing at you.

So looking forward to GenCon and Kirby's wedding, which I am standing in (Woooo). Looking forward to parties and seeing people. I may need to ask for some help with rides to some up coming events just so I can limit the miles on the old van, until I get a new one cause I am! It is out there waiting for me to see it and walk up and ask for it. I know it is going to work out.

Well that appears to be enough of my ramblings for now. Talk or type to everyone soon.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Has Had It!

2008-07-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Ok here I sit and I just cannot take it anymore! Over the past week and a half I have been doing two things...
1 - waking up every morning at around 6ish then waiting till 11 for the post office to call.

In the past I would normally get at least one call during the week and yeah I would be pissed off but that was because I usually wanted to do something and had to put it off because of the call. Who wouldn't be pissed? But now that I have spent close to 10 days waiting every morning I am really pissed off. No not because I am not working, although it comes in a close second, no I am pissed because I feel like some arrant school boy waiting for the headmaster to call. It is belittling, degrading and down right humiliating to be treated like this. Oh and if those mysterious internet watchers are reading this I am not bad mouthing the Post Office, it is a good job and I do love it, otherwise I would have dropped it like a hot potato...why would you be holding a hot potato anyway? Strange saying in my opinion. I mean was it like some game for the poor or something, throwing around a hot potato seeing who dropped it first?

Sorry I digress. That is just the point, I love my job. I actually enjoy delivering the mail. It is kinda cool driving out in the middle of the country following the route. Now if this was more city or urban I might not feel that way as I have driven those routes and don't much care for them. Give me the long country roads and I am in heaven. Ok I am not bashing the Post Office, just this current lack of work.

So with all this time on my hands I have been doing a couple of different things which leads us to the second thing on my list...
2 - trying to stay calm and sane by working on my campaign while in between bouts of genius watching some TV shows on Hulu and Veohtv.

Why is this pissing me off? Well it is simple. On Hulu you can watch any number of shows and movies with limited commercial interruptions. I understand this and have never and will never complain about it. No what gets to me are the commercials themselves. Most of them are you common fare but then you have those others.

First off all the environmental (and I stress "mental") ads. Save the planet. What a load of crap. I have only some simple questions that exposes that phrase as the glib tripe it is.

1- How old is the planet? Oh only 4.54 billion year roughly. It has seen ice ages, massive earth quakes that reshaped the surface, meteorites crashing into it that have purged all life that was on it and a host of other things but MAN is going to kill it. RIGHT...SURE...if you believe that then I have some land to sell you as well as a bridge or two.

2- How old is mankind? Well here is can of worms just waiting to be opened. Ok I am going to use the "intellectual" sources for this one only because it best serves the argument. This is not about philosophical ideals or personal beliefs but an argument. They say human kind has been around for close to 250,000 years and only in the last 10,000 or so have we been out of the cave so to speak.

If we can just compare the numbers I do believe that we amount to little more then a slight rash on the arse of good ole' earth. If anything we should be sweating our future and not Earths. It has a good history of moving on with little care or worry about the extinct species that have died on it. Come on people be honest and stop all this tree hugging. If we don't stop all the crap that is being done WE ARE GOING TO DIE OUT!

Hello!

Anyone out there?

Does anyone listen?

No they all go running around trying to be all selfless and saintly by not caring about humans and caring about "mother earth". Hey I love the earth, but I care about my own arse just a little more cause I am going to kick it one day and the Earth is going to kick me to the curb like a cheap bar ho when business is done (I am referring to sex, the nasty kind that you have with people you pick up when drunk cause they looked real good with a fifth of vodka in your brain but after you sober up a bit....WOAH!) The Earth could care less and you know why? IT IS A HUNK OF MINERALS FLOATING AROUND A BALL OF GAS! IT DOESN'T THINK OR FEEL OR CARE.

So basically you are trying to save your collective butts but don't have the balls to say it out loud and look like self serving bastards. Well I am calling all of you on it! (no not you cause I know all of you are not like that but those other yous out there) Grow a pair and fess up. It might just shock some people to really hear the truth and make them wake up to their impending dirt nap.

The second set of ads that really gets my goat are these "cyber-bullying" ads. They have kids in social situations saying some nasty things about other kids in the area. Then it says "If you wouldn't say it in person then why type it"...well duh! First of all when was the last time that anyone really stood up in a crowded place and told someone how stupid or ugly or slutty they were? It doesn't happen all that often and when it does it usually includes alcohol in mix. No they wait until they are on their own, in their little clicks and do it.

Where are the ads that proclaim that as being wrong and hurtful? Oh thats right the kids being laughed and degraded aren't in those clicks and don't have a chance to hear what they are saying (except when it is repeated by the kids that stand next to the click but are not apart of it so they don't care if they snitch) so its ok.

But the internet can be read by anyone (by that I mean the parents, since kids are most likely to just get depressed and start wearing black proclaiming their angst in bad poetry) so don't do it cause it might be seen and hurt their feelings (by that I mean embarrass the parents that their little angel is a social outcast which looks bad for them...ok just a little cynical but if you are googling your name you are that shallow in the first place) . Just save it for the hallway at school or the gym or the lunchroom, like they did in the old days. Just not the beloved pure internet. What a load of crap.

I just have to wonder what the hell we are paying our government for when this kind of money can be wasted telling kids to play nice on the internet. They are not going to play nice period. Where was this be nice attitude when I was getting my ass torn apart on the playground? I was a fat kid. I am still fat. I don't care what anyone thinks about it. You know what taught me that? Having those stupid sniveling worms call me those names and basically ostracize me my entire educational career.

It taught me that they have little substantive material to work with and the best that they could to in their pathetic attempt to raise themselves above the crowd was point out something that a blind mole rat would have been able to notice. I was fat. Ooh such powers of deduction. Like I would want to spend time with lame brans like that. Oh and for the most part it wasn't even original, just the long line of parrots repeating what the one said before it. Which explains how they managed to do so well in the basic education system where recitation of knowledge is considered learning. Can we say "Monkey see monkey do". Can we say "Garbage in garbage out"!

And we wonder why our society is falling apart and decaying. Wow how blind are we anyway.

Maybe if we started teaching our kids to stop trying to better themselves by stepping on the backs of others and instead taught them to STAND UP for themselves, things might start turning around. Well that and somehow got ourselves off this insane materialistic addiction we are on.

You know I was reading something where a Russian from the old USSR made a comment about the "Decadent imperialist Americans". Funny how we have always screamed that we weren't those things...yet we seem to have run right out and become them. Just like a teenager who swears at 18 he won't be like his father only to discover 20 years after that oath that he is just like his good old Dad. Someone just buy me the bullet, please.

Sorry for the ranting but I just get sick and disgusted with the namby pamby way we as a society have decided to try and fix our problems. Well that and sitting here with nothing to do every day but wait for a phone call. God I feel like some pathetic needy (I would say girl here but that is just a little sexist even for me...Todd no but me yes) person waiting for their partner to call, where that partner is a carousing philanderer/slut who is never going to call after that night of drunk sex...HA I managed to draw a line from an earlier metaphor, I am so cool....and lonely.

Ok enough from my peanut gallery and time for me to do the third thing I have been doing to pass the time on these crazy days...NO I DON'T MEAN MASTURBATE! Sickos! Thats fourth, Master of Orion is third.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Almost Wants to Be EVIL?!

2008-07-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Yeah you read the title right. I have just watched the second installment of Dr.Horribles Sing-A-Long Blog and I LOVE IT! It is amazing and funny and cool and OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!

Uh hum yes sorry about that. Had a giddy school girl moment there. Not common but they do happen every now and then. As I was meaning to say Dr.Horribles Sing-A-Long Blog is amazing.

You must see it. I mean it.

As a self professed super hero I must say that it so completely grasps the troubles that we in the tights and cape profession face. Although written from the prospective of a would be villain I can see many parallels. So many that I have to wonder what is the defining point that keeps Matt-Man on the side of the cape and not the cowl.

I will have to ponder that one...while I wait for the third and final act of Dr.Horribles Sing-A-Long Blog.

So go and see it now or I will have to get a freeze ray and icicle your arse! I mean it.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Has Seen The Future And It Is HORRIBLE!!!

2008-07-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Long time no post. Well things have been...confused. That is the best word. Not all that busy but something kept me all bound up inside my own head. Sitting here at the computer watching anything and everything I could find on Veohth or Hulu, some pretty bad stuff let me tell you. Yet I sat here and sucked it all into my once fertile brain. I kind of look at it as my kind of bender, cause you all know that I am not that big on drinking (yes I do it and like it but I know my addictive nature too well) even when I want to...GRRRRRRRRR.

Anyway I have been told about Dr.Horrible's Sing-a-long blog before now, I just never made it over there. BIG MISTAKE! I just watched the first act and I almost lost it. I would tell you more but I would rather you stop reading and hit this link to see its wonderful goodness yourself...

Dr.Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog!

Ok now that you have seen it and if I know everyone that reads this you will have loved it, bookmarked it and added a banner or two to your own websites.

I am running short on time right now so I will refrain from rambling on about how awesome it was and all that. I will say that it does give me ideas, I may never see them realized but having them is a good thing.

Well I have to finish a time line for my supers game. Yeah I never realized how much more work it was to plan a campaign that is going to last longer then two or three months...feels good.

Type to all as soon as I can. Hope to see everyone soon. OH and if you ever decide to clean the keys of your keyboard, don't lose the spring under the space bar and try and make a replacement. It never works the same again.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-man Addendum

2008-07-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Ok well in accordance with the previous post I must alter it slightly. I am running a SuperHero game done it Silver Age Sentinels but NOT D20. It will be the original Tri Stat System presented by Guardians of Order. After looking at both it seemed smarter and smoother to run it in its original then the D20 alteration.

So let me know who wants to play and when. I am looking for about 5 players not much more...well maybe 6 but thats it. I would even be willing to run separate groups of 3 or 4 around on different days if it comes to that. Anyway I will talk more the next time I see everyone.

Oh and getting sunburned sucks big time!!!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-man Speaks Candidly

2008-06-30T21:12:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

This message goes out to the 37 inch gamers. I know that I had planned a campaign, which has failed to appear. Well there is a reason, honestly I am sick of fantasy. Yup I have gone and said it. I am really sick and tired of fantasy all together. Some of it may come from 4th just coming out but this has been building for some time. I have a great story and a world all planned out, heck I have 3 continents planned out for crying out loud. It came to a head this weekend when I was planning on trying to have a meeting on the game and when push came to shove I just wanted to throw out all of my books.

Oh and on a side note, if we have given up looking at the message board could someone please take it down or put up a message saying it is pointless to post there. It was working so well then it just putted out. I had put up a message about the meeting and no one knew about it at all.

Ok so with all of that behind me I had to make a decision about the whole role playing thing. I could just give up and not even try to run anything or I could figure out what the heck did pique my interest and run it. Well I have a couple of ideas and I hope for the love of the Creator that some of you still stop by and read this so you can comment. Here are the ideas I came up with.

1. A super hero game run with Silver Age Sentinels D20 (Ok I heard that collective sigh of "not again")

2. A off the wall modern game set in the World of Darkness (no not vampire or any other book but right out of the basic WOD book, oh and for this game none of the others exist either) Think a crazy combo of Ghostbusters, MIB and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. This one is the least completed in my mind but shouldn't be hard to come up with some...wait I had a brain storm and have an idea.

3. A really strange game of All Flesh...where you are the zombies! Yeah a crazy idea I have had ever since I played Stubbs the Zombie. I am not sure on the time era but that can be discussed if I go that way. Oh important point on this one it is not super serious but tongue in cheek and funny, yes you are eating the living but it is going to be funny...I don't know how just yet but it will be I promise.

There they are. Let me know if you think any of them sound better then any others. I am kind of looking at the super hero one only because I haven't yet run a successful game yet...well complete is a better word cause you all said they were good.

Anyway I will also make sure to get with everyone personally just in case no one reads this.

For anyone not part of the 37 inch gamers thanks for reading anyway. I will post about 4th edition soon. I really have to formulate my thoughts into a cohesive tapestry of inspired cogitation. Yeah I can use my mouth better then a 20 dollar whore! (um just a clarification that was a joke from "Blazing Saddles")

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Chimes in on 4.0

2008-06-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I am going to talk about 4.0 for a second or two. First off I would like to direct everyone's attention to this post I found. You should read it as it gives an excellent showing of what is wrong with the mentality behind 4.0. Oh and before you do I am doing this to bash 4.0, I am doing this to bash WOTC.

Missing the point entirely: D & D 4.0

Ok now that you have jumped right over and read that blog I am going...wait you didn't read it, did you? You just plowed right on ahead and started reading this paragraph totally ignoring the link. How rude! I go to the trouble of putting that link there and you just treat it like it doesn't exist! Well I see how it is. I know when I am not appreciated.

Ha made you screw up your eyebrows and go WTF. Actually I have to jump away from the computer for a few hours so I will comment on that post in later.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man vs Anime?

2008-06-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Well I just spent several days catching up on some anime that I had started watching years ago and ended up missing for one reason or another. It is by far the truth that I could have gone the rest of my life without ever seeing them at all. Now don't get me wrong, they were well done and visually pleasing, with some great story telling as well. No the problem is that so far they have all done the same thing, bait and switch.

What do I mean by that? Well it is simple, they start promising to be a straight forward giant robot battle opera and lead you on with what seems to be straight forward story telling. Each episode building to the climactic final battle where all is revealed. The switch is when they totally drop the final battle/enemy angle and jump into some heavy psychobabble and introspection. Then to top it all of they have the audacity to drop a "deus ex machina" twist in the last few episodes that robs the viewer of a real ending but instead we get to see the writers idea of what God is and how we all were created or some such contrivance.

Why do they have to do this? What is the deal? I just wanted a intriguing story, with deep characters that interact and develop, while fighting horrors in giant robots/cyborgs/alien machines. I wanted to be entertained, enthralled and allowed to lose myself for a few hours...ok days. Is it that hard to come up with a story that doesn't end with some version of a god like entity showing up roaring around for twenty minutes while we are told how it is the creator of everything and how it is going to recreate the world? Or how it is going to jump back in time and change everything...yeah there is another pet peeve.

Time travel is something that I have spent a great deal of time reading about, thinking about and playing with in games. All of it seems to boil down to one simple point, every event is shaped by thousands of others leading up to it. So the two theories I have are these...

One- By changing the proper event the situation in the present is changed drastically. This totally changes the landscape of the present from the previous reality. People will be mostly the same but the events that you will remember them doing or being involved with will have been erased for the most part, in fact some of them may even be dead and others that did die will be alive. There is little to no way to know the full extent of the changes made to the present by changing even the simplest thing in the past.

Tw0- Some events are brought about by long term chains of events made by people that the time traveler is not aware of. Thus they may go back to change something but not knowing the real cause cannot alter the right events. This means that all they will most likely do is alter the players but not the event. They may even alter the outcome of the event but only along the lines of possible results of that event happening. In the end the thing that was trying to be changed only changes slightly with the end result being mostly the same.

Either way it would take a AWESOME story to encompass time traveling on even the smallest level. This is why I shudder when suddenly the term "time travel" shows up late in any series or show. Most of the time it is well founded as it totally screws up the plot and destroys any credibility it may have built up with me.

I could go on for a long time on that one. Suffice it to say that I have had it with anime for a long time. I mean really a long time. It would take a incredibly great anime that delivered what it promised from the beginning to the end with no damn twists! Maybe it is out their but for now I am not looking for it.

So this post was a little off the beaten path but I just had to vent.

Well off to work on going to sleep and then finishing my campaign.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Runs with Daikaiju!!!!!

2008-06-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met!

Things have been good for me as of late. I am working more then less which is good as it keeps me in funds. The allergy season has fallen hard on me and my sinuses, especially on days when I work since I am out in a rural area with tons of farmers pouring stuff on their crops and people with more lawn space then brains paying to have grass cut and manicured like some models hair. Chemicals abound as well as pollen and mold, fun times for all who have mega doses of antihistamines. Ah well I am alive and that is all that counts.

The major topic of this post is going to be the up coming release from Privateer Pres:

For those that have no idea what it is here is a basic run down. Think the simplicity of most clix games but add the awesomeness of Giant Monsters! Oh yes throwing buildings, being thrown into buildings, titanic slugfests punctuated by belching nuclear fire or cosmic laser blasts. Not only do you have the big guys but they have the obligatory fodder running around filling support functions as well.

The team at Privateer have come up with a great looking game. Realizing the need for factions they quickly came up with some really cool ideas. Here is a look at them.

The Lords of Cthul

These bad boys are a classic idea that has never been really brought into the arena of Daikaiju (giant monster) entertainment. Well it is about time in my opinion, what could be more monsterific then some ancient monster that eats humans, both in body and mind, rising to consume the city. Their main figures are awesome as well as their support troops, which have some really cool abilities.

G.U.A.R.D.

Where would we be if we didn't have the giant human driven robot defenders of the world. I love the Giant Robo look that these guys have, well with a little sprinkle of Johnny Sacko's Giant friend. This represents the best the human race can muster to defend itself from the giant monster menace. There support troops are tanks and helicopters which are to be expected. I have no intel on what they are capable of doing so I can say little else.

The Martians

If I was impressed with the idea bringing the tentacled menace into the ring I was blown away by this addition. We are talking the tripods people! Yes those annoying war machines from H.G. Wells imagination. Here they are in all their three legged glory to conquer the world, and kick a little giant monster butt! There is little about these up at the web site but I am waiting with baited breath!

The Planet Eaters!

This is probably my favorite faction. Of course it stems from my youth and watching way to much Ultraman and Specter man. Wait you don't get it Well see I liked the cool monsters more then the men in rubber suits. Don't get me wrong but they were simple while the monsters were covered in spikes and fins and flashy thingies. How could you not like them more!? Well here they are and I am looking forward to playing them! I would try and remember the stuff they do but all I can say is...THEY LOOK COOL! So doe their support troops which look like different bugs.

The Shadow Sun Syndicate

Well speaking of guys in suits, here they are. These are the classic giant space men fighting the monsters, with a "twist". As their name implies, something is not quite right and there may be some "strong arming" going on behind the scenes. I love it! I mean why wouldn't aliens who stand 50 stories tall look down on us and say "Hey you want protection? Whada ya got?". I would hate to see the territory war if the mob found out...or maybe they would just steal some G.U.A.R.D. stuff and make a go of it? Oh their support troops are a mix of vehicles and smaller guys which is pretty cool and adds to the "gang" feel.

The Terrasaurs

Hailing from South America here comes the classic giant monster. A huge lizard that has to belch fire, they haven't said so directly on the site but come on...it has to! The faction's support troops are various age groups of the adult creature and boy are they cute! Not like I would want to take care of one but still I can see myself petting a belly or two.

Well now you know the players so here is the game. In a nutshell you are fighting over land (ok not a big surprise what war hasn't) on this land are points of power that you need to take. There are also points that if destroyed hinder you opponent. By holding the good points and destroying the bad ones you can unleash you forces to their full potential and annihilate your opponent. But just think about doing so by saying "My Planet Eater picks up your G.U.A.R.D. and throws him into the building", that is so awesome!

If you want a better idea and pictures of actual mini's go to the website...

Monsterpocalypse

and visit their blog for some cool insights into their thought processes at...

MonsterInsider

All I know is that when it comes out I will be getting some. I know Val is as well so if nothing else we will be playing.

Whelp till next time I am out. Have some laundry to do as well as typing a few more episodes of "The New Adventures of Matt-Man!", oh and miniatures to paint. Whoops almost forgot that campaign I have to polish up and get ready as well as several game ideas to get down on paper and start developing. Man I am a busy guy, can I get paid for it some day? Please?

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!!

Images provided by Privateer Press are © 2001 – 2008 Privateer Press, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All images property of Privateer Press are used with permission. Privateer Press, Monsterpocalypse, G.U.A.R.D., Martian Menace, Terrasaurs, Planet Eaters, Shadow Sun Syndicate, Lords of Cthul and their associated logos and slogans are trademarks of Privateer Press, Inc. All other trademarks are property of their respective owners. Wow never had to put one of these up before, feels kinda like cool.

Matt-Man is Inspriation!!!!

2008-06-12T09:41:00.001-07:00

Hail and well met

First off I have to give a shout out to Sara Jay for her recent email containing some amazing posters. I hope she doesn't mind but I am reposting them here for all to see. Hilarious! I laughed harder then I have in a long time.

Okay well it appears that I am having technical difficulties reposting those posters. Grrrrr why cannot things just work.

No matter. Thank you Sara Jay for sharing those with me and everyone you mailed them to. Keep it up cause they are funny.

Now on the the second reason for this post, besides the fact that I haven't posted in awhile. As some of you may know and some may not, in the past I have posted blogs on MySpace that were written adventures of Matt-Man. Several months ago I stopped for several reasons. Among them were a desire to polish the whole thing top to bottom so it worked better, then I wanted to solidify the universe it takes place in and finally I wanted to write the stories with continuity in mind, you know longer story arcs that mesh together not jump around all the time. There were other reasons that remain personal for personal reasons.

Well the time has come for me to kick my butt into gear and get things done. So with that in mind I began to write the adventures again. Originally it was to be returning to MySpace, but due to the interloping of Trans-Dimensional Error Imp Gnomes I have had to move it somewhere I could work everything out as I wished.

So without further ado here is the link to my new blog...

The Adventures of Matt-Man!!!

It is amazing! I even added a soundtrack! So here is to you all taking a look and liking what you see.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-man Addicted to the "YouTube"

2008-05-29T12:53:00.001-07:00

Hail and well met

I just can't seem to get enough of watching stuff on YouTube. Here is one I just had to share today.

Laughing as I am typing.

I'm a Matt-Man, yes I am.

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man For Something Completely Different

2008-05-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I just found these on YouTube and had to share them. Watch and enjoy.

Just one more this time..

These are all done by ItsJustSomeRandomGuy. Look him up to see many many more fun videos.

That is all I wanted to post. See you all later.

Excelsior!!!

Matt-man Bears All!

2008-05-22T16:22:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met...

Hail...

HAIL...

Hail?

Ok come out from behind whatever it is you have jumped behind, I was talking metaphorically people. Besides this is a blog, not live and in person. I know the thought of me in all my glory is a frightening thought (right Neal?) but this is a serious post...well as serious as I can muster.

Listen I was reading a blog today and something in it struck me. Then I was working on my MySpace page and something else struck me, HARD. Those things forced me to face something from a new direction and understand what is going on in my life.

As I have stated in recent posts my sense of apathy. How I cannot seem to do anything with real passion or energy. I won't go into the whole thing cause it was long and verbose (like so much of my stuff is) besides that sums it up. Well after reading the blog I started categorizing my pictures on MySpace, I grouped the 37 inch gamers, people I knew from high school and then people from the two stores I worked at/managed. It was while gathering those pictures together I realized something.

I still had strong feeling about the loss of both of those stores, one worse then the other only because I was only assistant manger at the first one; while I ran the second one. It doesn't matter which one hurt more what mattered was that it hurt. I thought I had put these behind me and moved on. It appears that I have not or at least I have not healed from them or something. Then it struck me like a bolt of lighting, an epiphany if you will.

The problem I am having is not that I lack the energy but that I won't/can't/don't invest in anything emotionally, thus the feeling of lifelessness when I do them.

Without investing emotion into something you cannot expect to gain emotion from it, at least not anything that lasts. I know that is true because of what I gained from the time spent working at the stores. I got things out of those experiences, both good and bad but they are there and with me forever. Lately things come and go with little or no lasting impression.

The biggest proof of this is my inability to paint. I have tried on several occasions but again I just lack the energy to get anything accomplished. A few strokes of the brush and then I have to do something else or fall asleep. It is now clear that don't lose energy, there just isn't any there to pull from.

The big question is why? Why am I holding back on investing my emotions into the things that I know I love? What is blocking the flow that was so free before? This is the key and I must figure it out.

What could it be is easy. I answered it myself a second ago when I mentioned the lingering pain from past experiences...oh hell lets be honest cause I missed stating one.

Terri leaving me.

That one hurt and still does on some nights when I am laying in bed alone wishing to hear her voice next to me. Waking up to see her face, her smile and her eyes. God I miss her.

But that is not the point. The fact is I am just not investing my emotions in anything. Well that cannot be true because I do my job with energy and focus. Of course there is little in the way of a threat there as I am over my 1 year anniversary which gives me a little job security. That is not it either, it is more the fact that in all honesty aside from being broke I don't care if I lose that job or not. I don't care if they treat me like shit because I am not there to gain their approval. I don't want to make friends, I am there to work. I do the best I can and if that is not good enough then hard cheese, I don't care. I take a measure of satisfaction in my job and do it well but I take no pride in it. All I do is deliver the mail, like the rest of the quarter of million people that work for the Post Office in their various capacities. I just do my job and sometimes I make mistakes and sometimes I don't, just like anyone else.

Frak it all! I am invisible again.

I think that is what is holding me back. I am afraid of being special, of standing out. It makes me a target and I don't want to get shot again (figuratively speaking of course).

GRRRRRRR!

Well there is only one thing to do then.

STOP IT!

I don't mean going gang busters with my job, I mean with several other aspects of my life that I have let slip away because I know that if pursued there will be a big ole' target painted on my back, my front and all over me. Risk is the thing I am getting at. I am not taking any risks at all. Playing it safe. Lulling myself to sleep with thoughts that if I am patient enough it will all happen. Well that is bull straight from the bull's arse. I have to take risks if I want any of the rewards.

What is that line from "The Sound of Music"

"Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could."

If I venture nothing I get nothing, if I do nothing I accomplish nothing. Yeah it means that I don't get hurt, from the outside that is. All the while I am dying a little each and every day on the inside.

I have to fight and struggle and RISK everything. I know there will be pain and loss and failure but I can learn and grow from these. I owe it to myself and everyone that believes in me to do it. I owe it to God because he gave me the ability to do the things I can do.

I just have to be honest here. I don't have a damn clue how to do it.

I will find a way, I have to because I refuse to become a ghost again. I won't. I would rather die and get it over with then go back to that unlife. Since I don't plan on kicking the bucket anytime soon that only leaves me one option.

Get'er done!

I have some work to do. No I have a shit ton of work to do. I had better get started.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!!

Matt-man Says Generation-Shmeneration!

2008-05-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Welp I was watching something on the computer and a commercial came on and referred to "Generation Z" which got me thinking about the whole labeling thing we have gotten in the habit of doing.

I understand it from a historical stand point but as I look back I realize that it has gone way beyond that. In many cases it appears that people have taken it upon themselves to find out what their "Generation" was all about and tried to life up to it. They have stopped defining themselves as individuals and instead adopt or co-opt the identity of the average person from their "Generation". While they sit around or do whatever they do it is apparent that they are happy as clams in their shells to stop trying to be themselves, individuals and slip into the cookie cutter existence dolled out to them by the "know it alls" whom tell them what it means to be of their "Generation".

I really see it in my generation, that would be the "X'ers" which I didn't really know until doing a little research on the subject. God I love Wikipedia.

Maybe I just don't get it. I have always been outside the "group" so to speak and was quite happy to be there. Being an only child I learned early on to get by on my own, since needing someone else left you vulnerable and incomplete. I mean what happens when someone has life drop in their laps and you are left alone, do you just shut down or do you deal with it? Well I learned to deal with it, on my own. I didn't need to belong to a "group" because I was one, literally, a group of "one";me.

I know that it has severely screwed with my mental and social development. It is probably the main reason I didn't rush off to collage, I didn't need to get away because I had already sequestered myself from the smothering around me. I had, I hate to say this but I see it now quite clearly, convinced myself I was "above" it. I also know I was totally wrong. I had not risen above anything, I had sunken below it. I was off the radar so to speak. Locked away in my room, painting, reading, writing and all the other stuff I did to fill my days and nights while I was alone, avoiding most social interaction.

It is a wonder I didn't end up some crazy basket case sending really nasty stuff through the mail while living in a cabin made from recycled cardboard boxes or something. Luckily I didn't become that although I have no idea what I have become.

In that is the truth of something that tasks me. What have I become? What am I? What am I going to be?

Stupid questions for someone who is 38, or maybe not. I guess that they are common for anyone to ponder at any age. Of course there is the "Mid-life" crisis theory. Yet I know it definitely not that.

I am not ragging on myself. I am not beating myself up. I am just realizing that I may be 38 physically but mentally I really haven't jumped past my mid 20's at best. Don't ask about emotionally, I know I don't.

Things happen for a reason. I know that if I had gone to collage it would have ended in disaster. I mean a real disaster. Were talking about evening news across the world covering the latest details of the crazed happening on that campus where that quiet, reclusive fat kid lost his mind and did something terrible. Trust me I can be honest enough to know I was in no mental or emotional condition for the environment of a campus.

I would have crawled into a shell and locked myself away totally losing touch with humanity not to mention reality. That can only lead to bad places. Trust me I know what lurks in the hearts of men...well at least this man. It would have been scary, no scratch that it would have been totally fracking terrifying.

I digress though as I didn't do any of that. I did manage to get out there a little. I did manage to find friends, something I have a knack for (of course keeping up with them is bit of a problem with me). I have involved myself with my fellow man, a little. I go out...once in awhile. Ok so I don't go looking for companionship and maybe I should.

Crap let me just say it. I am scared of it. Scared of going out into a crowed room of people I don't know and trying to talk to any of them, let alone the women of that crowd.

I am not one for idle banter. I don't chat well. Hell I can barely talk slow enough for anyone to understand and that includes myself. I try but it never works. I end up stuttering if I do and that is something I would love to understand; why do I talk the way I do?. What wires are screwed up in my head that I feel the need to try and speak at the speed of sound. (Ha that was a joke, albeit a bad one)I really have tried to slow down, I notice when I do and I even know when someone won't understand what I am saying. I force myself to slow down and it just causes a traffic jam in my head that comes crashing out of my mouth.

It is probably the second thing I hate about myself. You should all know the first one.

Anyway I again digress from the point and have lost it. No wait that is not true I am trying to escape talking about being mortified of interaction with those I don't know. Trying to weasel out of it. But then again it is my blog and I will quit when I want to. Even if it is an escapist effort to not continue. It fact I am surprised that I haven't stopped and erased this whole thing. Maybe I am trying to work it through. Hopefully I am ready to maybe face it and get over it.

Hmm talking about labeling a generation to my fear of interaction. That is quite a stretch and a little egocentric of me isn't it, turning this post around and about me. I guess I am a little self centered but again it is MY blog, so whatever.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man For Great Justice...

2008-05-16T14:47:00.001-07:00

Hail and well met

So here I sit with a heavy heart. I was tooling around IMDB and stumbled upon an entry for the Justice League movie. I had a fear that DC would screw it up and from what I am seeing the gun is loaded and aimed at their foot with the finger flexing.

How can this be you ask. Well it is simple really. They lack the screen presence or standing in the industry to pull it off. Also they lack the patience to do it. Here is my reasoning. Marvel is on the cusp of launching what will be the most amazing franchise in movie history, eclipsing even the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Only because there will most likely be more then three of them and will be surrounded by a mounting number of side movies, including the first films for the main characters. Iron Man was the beginning and I have no doubt it will continue with Hulk, Thor and Captain America when they come out. It won't be the main theme of the film but as with IM it will be laced through the film with a reveal at the end. Marvel is willing to take the time and spend the money to secure a recognized group of actors and then draw them all into one film that everyone will go see because of the previous movies. Not to mention the effort that is being made to make these newer films with attention to the cannon of the comics as well as strong cinematography.

DC is just not being as smart about it. First of all the only two characters from the Justice League that have films are Batman and Superman. Now these are very successful in their own right but there has been little or no attempt to draw them together at all. Then you have the fact that neither of the actors that played the characters are mentioned in the cast listing for the Justice League film. Yeah you heard me right they are casting entirely new and unseen actors for these characters for the movie. So you are going to have confusion and mixed performances (can we say the many faces of Batman which weakened that already weak franchise). Ok so that is big check mark against it but maybe they will make up for it with great writing...NOT. After checking out the two co-writers I can only wonder if they didn't just walk out and toss a lawn dart at people walking by the office. The two are Kirean and Michele Mulroney, a brother and sister team with absolutely no writing history at all and I am not joking. Kirean has some acting under his belt on such blockbusters as "Navy NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service", Greasewood Flat, "Touched by an Angel", "NYPD Blue" and both Star Trek: Next Generation and Enterprise. Oh boy with such MOVIE experience I just know we will have a TOTAL SCREWED UP MESS. If his resume is ok then here is what his sis has done... Sunny & Share Love You (2007) (writer and actress)...yeah that is it. At this point I was seeing a movie ending up like the 1994 Fantastic Four that ends up being given away at conventions for free when you buy some anime porn.

Ok so inexperienced writers and out of the blue casting, maybe the director can pull it off. I mean Marc Singer did a wonderful job on X-Men so there may be a fleck of hope, right? Can I get a HELL NO! The gentleman listed as director is George Miller (II) who has won an Oscar. So what films has he done? Well here is the list from IMDB.

# Happy Feet (2006)
# "HBO First Look" (1 episode, 2006)
- Happy Feet (2006) TV episode

# Babe: Pig in the City (1998)
# 40,000 Years of Dreaming (1997)
# Lorenzo's Oil (1992)

# The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
# Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985)
... aka Mad Max 3
... aka Mad Max III (Philippines: English title)
# "The Last Bastion" (1984) (mini) TV mini-series (co-director)
# Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) (segment 4)
# "The Dismissal" (1983) (mini) TV mini-series
# Mad Max 2 (1981)
... aka Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (USA)
... aka The Road Warrior (USA)

Ok not that bad...if you want an 80's style action movie or pathetic schlock. I mean lets face it the last film he did was Happy Feet...HAPPY FEET?!?!?!

In case any of you have not seen it (I pray it is all of you) IT SUCKED. I watched about 1/3 of the film before I had to fake stomach cramps so I could excuse myself and come home, which was not that hard given the insipid, sickeningly thin premise the movie tried to doll out. I won't go any further.

Why does DC have to carry this rivalry with Marvel to this extreme? They should take a long look at the success that Marvel is having and instead of getting jealous or self-righteous, get down to business. Start by getting more of the main characters their own really good films, drop the hints and plant the seeds and then damn well deliver on them. It may take a few years but in the end you will have something that will really work, not some half assed attempt to throw something out there to appease the "fans", which may be what they say to press but really it is a slap in the face.

Unless things really change and soon the Justice League movie will be a lost cause.

On a happy note it is listed as "The project is tabled for now".

Well that about covers it for me. Not the usual fare from this blog but I had to get this off my chest. Personally things are ok. Some hiccups but that is to expected. I will weather them and come out on top as usual.

Oh and anyone not visiting the forum should cause I have posted about an event called "Zombie Fest" in October. Not going to go into details right now, probably in next post, but in a nutshell it is ZOMBIE CONVENTION!!!!!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man...What, you need more?

2008-05-08T18:52:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Well I sit here typing today with a bit of a conundrum on my hands. You see I found something out this afternoon that should have me devastated. Right now I normally would be stressed out and pissed off, screaming at anything and everything in the 'verse for dumping this on me. Now I will get around to telling you what happened but this has to come first cause it has me, to be honest, scared.

Most of you know me for the light hearted fat man with a penchant for holding in his emotions until he blows (either his top or a gasket...he he he inside joke for now). Not one for handling stress or anger well at all. I try not to vent at anyone cause it is never fair to hurt someone you love for something that is not even remotely their fault and even if it is I tend to turn the other cheek. With all this bottled up emotion I tend to fly off the handle at times over the stupidest things. We all know it is true. Either that or fall into stupid depression from which I have to dig myself out.

Well as I learned what I did this afternoon I expected to sense the coming storm within. I braced myself and even prepared some lines and subjects for my resulting mood. As I stood there and waited for it to come I realized it wasn't. I was shocked but figured it was only a matter of time and it had not fully sunk in. So I went home and waited for it to rise. Time passed as it always does and I find that it is not there at all. Instead I think I feel nothing at all concerning what happened and in a way that worries me more.

You see as of late I have been realizing a new trend in my life. Apathy. A total lack of emotion and desire at anything. I tried with Iron Man and it did excite me a little but as soon as it was over...POOF gone. Nothing is sustained and fades so quickly. I keep trying to work on stuff and quickly fall off into watching something on TV or this blasted computer off the internet (NO ITS NOT PORN!...well not all of it ;) But all kidding aside it worries me that the harder I try and grasp some shred of discipline the easier it slips away.

In the end it worries me that I am falling apart on the inside, fading away. No that is not the right term for it or the idea either. I cannot explain what it is but it bothers me a lot.

So what did I learn this afternoon. Well it seems that my "new" van is not so good. A seal is not working right (hence the gasket joke earlier... come on it was funny)and the cost to figure out what exactly is wrong (not fix it but determine what needs to be fixed that is) would run conservatively around a thousand dollars. Well that is a no brainer. So once again I am on the search for a mail worthy vehicle that I can afford, I haven't even finished paying off this one. You see I should be worked up over all of this and it doesn't even phase me. I don't have any idea where the vehicle could come from nor can I afford another 3 month wonder. Yet here I sit not really caring one bit about it. I plan on just pouring oil down its gullet and drive it only for work. Which should also piss me off as it totally cuts me off from everyone and everything else.

And all I can say is "meh".

I wish life came with a owners manual or at least some helpful tips that popped up when you logged on.

May the Force be with you.

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Hails Iron Man

2008-05-06T16:05:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I am glad to say that the movie surpassed the trailer. It was amazing and that could be an understatement. Robert Downey Jr was absolutely perfect as Tony Stark. His attitude, his mannerisms and his quips were an outstanding representation of the comic book character. Gwyneth Paltrow as "Pepper" Potts was an incredible choice, her chemistry with Robert was golden and on the money. Jeff Bridges as Stane was inspired as I did not see it coming and it is a shame his character died because I would love to see him and Tony go toe to toe again. His demeanor and its ability to change both visibly and vocally was amazing. Oh and lets not forget Terrence Howard as Rhodes and although he had only a supporting role it was excellent and planted seeds for the future...can we say "Warmachine"? I knew you could!

I would go into to the special FX but all I have to say is this...

OMG AMAZING!

Yeah that about covers it.

So all in all I have to say that Iron Man was the current best Marvel Movie...cause Hulk is on the way!

Oh and before I forget if you haven't seen the movie yet, go see it and STAY THROUGH THE CREDITS! It is worth it.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man on Cloverfield

2008-05-02T06:49:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met.

It has been awhile since I last posted. Things around here are doing well. I am in good health of body, mind and soul. Work is just that, work. I have recently revisited an idea I had last year and this time I have found the right way to go. I am still proceeding slowly and really taking the time to understand what I am getting myself into before I jump in head first and smack the bottom of the pool. It should be interesting to see where this takes me and what I get from it.

Now on to the meaning of the title. Well yesterday I bought the Cloverfield DVD and devoured it all in one sitting, well except for the director commentary. The movie is over 5 months old which is hard to believe that only that much time has past as it felt like almost a year had passed. I was a little disappointed with the DVD as it lacked any of the online material that made the build up for the film so much fun. I know that it would have been difficult to put on the DVD for DVD viewing but still at least mention it if not do a complete special feature on it. What was there was interesting and in some ways added to the fun of the film. Then there were a few things that kind of discolored it a little. No that is not entirely correct as I still fully enjoy the film and I am glad to have purchased it. I guess you could sum up what I am getting at by one statement.

This was not a Giant Monster (or Kaiju) movie but a tragic love story set against the backdrop of a disaster.

Yeah that about puts all the facts of it in order. J.J. Abrams is shown saying that his son and him made a trip to Tokyo and while there visited a number of toy stores. There he viewed that Godzilla was still a major factor in Japanese pop culture. He states that he wishes that America had such a monster, King Kong not withstanding. So he gives the impression that this is what stimulated him to make Cloverfield. Here is where I draw contention with his movie. If he set out to make a Kaiju film then it is without question an absolute and complete failure. As a amateur Kaiju film watcher I can say that hardly any of the required elements were there. Yes there was a giant monster but it had only a supporting part, bordering on bit or walk on if not for some later scenes. The conflict with the monster was no where near the center of the story nor did it recieve more then a passing mention in exposition. The army is seen fighting with it but their tactics and plans are never really shown except for the passing mention of the "Hammer Fall" protocol. While there was plenty of destruction of buildings it lacked the scope of the genre. Oh and the end was worse then spending an evening working with your date towards the big payoff only to have her fall asleep in the first five minutes after getting home. Yes there were a few explosions but those fell far short of the end of the film and the last scene didn't even show the monster. Unfortunately by comparison the American Godzilla was a better Kaiju film then Cloverfield.

Now that being said is Cloverfield a bad movie? Hell no! I loved it for what it was as I said before. It was a tragic love story set against the back drop of this monster rampaging around New York. I began to feel for these characters and wanted to know what was going on. I think the most engaging fact of the film is that I wanted to know more about what happened on the tape from the Conney Island day. I was clamoring for scenes. No I didn't want the whole movie to be about it but I found the contrast was amazing as well as the way it continued to draw you back to the humanity of the main character and his connection with Beth.

I was silently routing him on as he struggled with getting to her. Not to mention that along the way he has been watching his brother and friends die off due to this thing, in one way or another. Oh and did anyone else catch the irony of which one of the group survived...yes someone did survive! I totally missed it in the theaters but it struck me right between the eyes while watching the DVD. Ok for anyone that has not seen this film this could be viewed as a slight spoiler so stop reading and go out and watch the movie then come back and read on.

Lilly survives! The quite beautiful young lady gets on the Chopper and gets away! Someone made it out, just not our hero nor his lady which is why I call it a love story with a tragic end in a most classic way. Another way to put it is to call it a Classic Tragic Love Story or CTLS. Kind of looks like a short hand way to say cutlass.

"I'll take Swords for one billion!"

"What? No Mr.Connery that is S Words not Swords."

Sorry but I get distracted sometimes.

What else can I say about this film. I said I love it and then explained why it was not a Kaiju film but a CTLS. I dropped the bomb that someone survived. Hmm I could go into my thoughts on the little critters that fell off the monster but that is a long rant. I have some other insights on the thought process that went into the monster but again to long for this already long post. So I will let it go at that for now. I do want to share my views on the other aspects of the subject of this film so expect it in the future.

I am going to be seeing Iron Man tonight and I am planning posting on this experience but maybe on until Sunday as I work tomorrow and have gaming tomorrow night.

Looking forward to everyone being home, even if it is only for a short time.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man, Live the Journey!

2008-04-14T16:29:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Well things are going quite well over here in the new Matt-Cave. I have gotten some things done and a load more to the next level. Not to mention taking a trip this weekend down to Normal IL (although I have to dispute the name cause who decides what is Normal)

Why Normal? Well it was to see two friends that I have not really spent time with since almost three years ago. Chris and Andy Wasowicz were customers at 3D House of Games at first and then developed in to fellow gamers in several RPG campaigns. Of course along they way they also became friends. Several years ago they moved down to Normal to go to school. While there they bought a house and now live there while going to school. They are quite the pair and many a fond memory are attached times spent with them.

Anyway they were having a party (yes one of those wild collage parties) and I was invited. So with a spring in my step I drove two hours down to Normal to get my collage drink on. Ok in truth I wasn't planning on getting hammered just a few cocktails and head back. Well the best laid plans of mice and Matt-Man. First of all I forgot the directions to their house, second I failed to get either ones new phone numbers which left me wandering around the streets of the campus trying desperately to seduce luck into having me stumble on their house. Just as I was considering stopping at the next parking space and getting out to scream "Chris, Andy WHERE ARE YOU?" I received a phone call from Chris and within a few minutes I was there.

Hugs and slugs all around (guys don't do kisses..well unless dinner is involved...WHAT?!). They have a cool house and to be honest I was a bit jealous. Yes it is true I Matt-Man have recently been yearning for a permanent Mat-Cave of my own. Enough of that on with the show. At that time they had a few of those they invited over and introductions were made. I am glad to have met them all. Then it was off to the kitchen, also known as the brewery, for a bomb for which the only name I have is KoKo-bomb because it tasted like chocolate goodness. I will have to get the formula. Then it was on to the jungle juice which tasted like fruit punch, really good fruit punch. Little did I know until later that it was filled with something called everclear. Yeah I know what it is so don't think of posting some wise ass comment. Well two glasses later I was feeling barely anything at all so when a drinking game was called to order I figured in my state I was in good shape to play.

DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT!

I don't know if any of you have ever heard of MAO but it is a crazy game that I love. First of all we were not informed of the rules and had to figure them out as the game went on, which led to a lot more drinking. After three games (I think) I was definitely feeling good. Then it was off to talking and smoking for several hours. When all is said and done I spent the night on their fold out couch as I was in no condition to drive. The next morning I felt ok with only a very light hang over (thank God for water) and when everyone else had roused themselves it was off to breakfast at IHOP. Goodbyes were said and I made the trek back home. Fun times!

So anyway now I am getting ready for a long work week as my regular is going on a mini vacation starting on Thursday and going till the following Wednesday. That will be a nice paycheck.

Hope all is going well for everyone out there.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Clsoetoflostdreams

2008-04-10T11:41:00.001-07:00

The Classic IQ Test

My Result: Visionary Philosopher

Your mind's strengths allow you to think ahead of the game — to imagine or anticipate what should come next in just about any situation. Because you're equally skilled in the numerical and verbal universes of the brain, you can draw from multiple sources of information to come up with great ideas. The timelessness of your vision and the balance between your various skills are what make you a Visionary Philosopher.

In addition to your strengths in math and linguistics, you have a knack for matching and anticipating patterns. These skills and your uncanny ability to detect the underlying blueprint of most of life's situations add to your Visionary Philosopher mind.
Two philosophers who share the same combination of skills you possess are Plato and Benedict Spinoza. Spinoza had insight into how things worked in the world. He could envision a future based on the patterns he saw in life, and used mathematical logic as a structure within which to present his philosophical arguments. With that base he was able to use logic to formulate his theories. Borrowing from his linguistic strengths he wrote eloquent texts and, therefore, was able to bring his philosophical ideas and structure to the rest of the world. His story exemplifies the talents that are present in the Visionary Philosopher intellectual type.

Whatever you decide to do in life, you've got a powerful mix of skills and insight that can be applied in a wide variety of ways. You can expand your mind to understand a situation. Your strong balance of math and verbal skills will help you explain things to others. For example, if you were on an archaeological dig and discovered an object, you could probably use your deductive powers to figure out not only what the object was but also how it was used. Given your ability to put things together, you are more than capable of inventing a life plan that is in synch with your perspective on how things were, how they are, and how they might be one day.

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=uiqogt&c=50652

Matt-Man....RISE!

2008-04-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met!

I come to you tonight not from a borrowed computer but instead from the one and only Matt-Comp 5000! Oh yes the freedom of being able to go where I will when I will is such a freeing experience. Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying that anyone that allowed me to use their computer was being stingy or mean about it at all. Bill has been a saint about letting me use his computer and I thank him for it.

THANKS BILL!!!!!

It is just that there were things I wanted to do and couldn't. So now I surf with wild abandon from www.anteater.com to www.zebulon.com.

This will vastly improve my ability to work on the JFL and all related material. I have made some logo ideas, take a look.

This one is cool but I don't know about the 3 colors I have another one just in black.
Classic 80's T-shirt logo

What kind of idea would it be without a shield.

Ah the new classic slant logo.

Yup these are all ideas I am thinking of going with. Let me know what you think cause they will be available at Cafepress.com real soon...as soon I figure out how to get it to take the items I make and put them in the damn storefront! I can be so ignorant sometimes. But as Bill said earlier "It just takes some practice and things get easier."

So what else can I regale you with. Hmm not much really. I am doing ok and things are moving along rather well. I should be getting some stuff off to the guys in St.Louis real soon which get things one step closer to realization.

Yeah right now it is pretty smooth sailing. Oh my Itunes is having a problem and I gots to have my tunes so adieu for now.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man, a Call to Arms!

2008-03-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

To all my good friends and anyone else that reads this blog (I know there are some out there which is weird) I am sending out a summons. A few years ago while sitting with a friend of mine I came up with an idea. You see he as well am myself had discovered that no matter what we always seemed invisible to women. In a moment of inspiration I came up with something of a support group/sarcastic release for this feeling. After several hours of thinking about it I have decided to chuck my pride aside (it just keeps getting in the way anyway) and put it out there.

In the next few days or even weeks (depending on my schedule) I will be unveiling a Blog where I will start posting on my feelings concerning this. I also plan on creating a group of products on Cafe Press based on the theme. I may even look into a web site for it as well, but right now it is just the beginning and I don't want to overwhelm myself.

So with out any further ado I introduce to you...

The Justa Friends League!

May the Force be with you!

Excelsior!!!

Who Wouldn't Fight for Matt-Man?

2008-03-27T16:29:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I must thank both Nicky and Ferric for their responses and their support. It does mean a lot to me.

I said I was going to post about my trip down to Carbondale. I went with Neal for two days. We got down there late Tuesday night and stayed through Thursday. It was a blast and I had an awesome time. I got to see Nicky, Chris, Joe and the whole gang. Being down there went a long way to rejuvenating me both physically and spiritually. Of course when I came back is when I had that fun conversation that was mentioned in the previous post, but it does not nor shall it every over shadow the great time I had.

I want to thank everyone down there for their hospitality and generosity. I only hope that one day I can repay the kindness.

When we got back on Thursday, we went over to Val and Mel's where some of the 37 inch gang had gathered. Miles, Kristin, Todd and NICK were there. Yes Nick was there and in good health. I really missed seeing him over the last couple of years. Much fun was had by all and it was rather late when I dragged my but to bed.

Not sure when I can make it down again or even if I can but I will keep it in mind. I also want to catch a trip out to Monmouth to hang with Miles before he graduates. Have to contact him and make devious plans.

MUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Other then that not much going on. I will see all when I can and hope to talk to anyone I cannot see.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-man for the Future

2008-03-26T20:13:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met!

Well it has been a long time since I have been able to post. Mostly it has been because of technical problems but that should be no longer a problem very soon. So what can I say.

Well it has been rough on several levels. I feel very alone and I don't mean like having people around alone but the other kind of alone. Everyone keeps telling me that I am good looking and a great guy, so why is it that no matter what I do no one notices me. Of course I know that I don't really jump out there throw myself into the ring so to speak but that has never been my strong suit. Gah I hate trying to figure out what to do in these situations. I even tried to fill out the stuff for Yahoo personals but I found that it kept asking me to define what I am looking for. Wow was I sitting here with that deer in the headlights look. I have no idea what I am looking for and what they offered as way of options really didn't help. So I left it unfinished like so many other things in my life and moved on.

On another front I spoke to a couple of people whom probably thought they were helping me by tearing me down. I was speaking about my work on both my games and the ones for the guys down in St. Louis when I was stopped. I was informed that I was wasting my time and should wake up, grow up and dump these pipe dreams. All I was doing was proving I was a loser and setting myself for failure since there was no future in any of them. Then I was regaled with how I was seen as a lazy mooch who was living off others like some kind of leech. In their opinion I was slowing some people up and would only succeed in taking them down with myself. In fact when I boiled it all down I really don't know why they would have ever been my friends.

To say I was devastated would have been an understatement. I say would have been because I didn't stay depressed. I got pissed off. I mean really angry. Now I know that no one that reads this are among those that were involved with what was said or how I feel but I have to get this off my chest in a forum that will not allow me to speak out loud because every time I do in the privacy of my own space it devolves into swearing and throwing things.

So here is my diatribe and please don't take this to heart.

When I boiled it all down I came to a conclusion.

I DON'T GIVE A FLYING F@#K WHAT YOU ALL THINK!

As far as I can see you only say those things because you are scared to death of me and what I am accomplishing. You see while I am fighting for my dreams you sit there in your drunken stupor with not one dream at all. In fact your idea of a dream is where you can go on your vacation so you can get drunk and forget your pathetic so called life. I don't need to get drunk because I don't need to forget my life. No it may not be perfect but by God it is filled with more then you have. Oh and as far as not having a house, what has it done for you? As far as I can see all it has done for you is tie you down and suck the money out of you. Not to mention the wasted time and money on those stupid techno crap gadgets you have to run out and buy to try and fill your void of a life. You call me a loser well let me tell you something, when it comes down to it you are the loser.

When I get my games published and I will!, Millions will know my name. I will affect those lives and bring fun into their lives. The only people you will affect are the liquor store owners and the Bust Buy corporate accountants, oh and not to mention the credit card companies. They will mourn your passing only as a real parasite mourns its host.

I would go on but as I said before I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK.

IN FACT EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T READ THIS I CAN ONLY HOPE YOU FEEL THIS. GO F@#K YOURSELVES AND HAVE FUN SPENDING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE DRINKING YOURSELF INTO OBLIVION WHILE SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH USELESS TECHNO CRAP. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME.

IN FACT IF ANYTHING HAS COME FROM THIS IS THAT I HAVE DECIDED THAT I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS OF ME AND I MEAN NO ONE!

Ok I am going to stop there. It feels good to get it off my chest. If my new outlook upsets anyone, well I would normally say I am sorry but in truth I don't care. It is where I am at and that is that.

I will post on a trip down to Carbondale later cause it was an amazing trip and I loved it.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Bids Farewell to a Real Hero

2008-03-05T06:35:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met.

Yesterday morning co-creator of D&D and so much more, passed away at the age of 69. I was informed by a good friend last night and this morning I have been reading many of the reports and posts concerning this.

I was going to try and type my feeling on this matter, but that will have to come later. Right now I just want to say that this man has touched so many and by doing so has made this world a better place. If not for his creativity I know I would not be where I am today or the person I am either. I know I owe him so much that words cannot begin to express.

Good friend you will be missed.

May the Force be with you.

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Vs The Mundaemon

2008-02-17T07:45:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met.

My title is the ultimate expression of what has been going on with me for the last several weeks. I have found that I like to name my troubles and give them a persona. The Mundaemon is a vile creature that seeks to undermine everyone's belief in themselves and their uniqueness. It rips apart a persons confidence in both themselves and their abilities. His goal is to beat everyone down into a lowly place from which they not only feel they cannot get out but more importantly don't deserve to get out.

As the trip down to meet with the gentlemen in St. Louis draws nearer I have struggled with this evil. Every minute of every day he mounts attack after attack against my belief in myself. My past is dredged up with its numerous failures and missed opportunities. My seemingly non-existent ambition and drive are a constant source of ammunition for his attacks.

The worst part of all of this is that for all my belief in myself what he is throwing in my face is, well, the truth.

I never have had a sense of ambition nor felt driven. I lack passion for anything. I try to feel it but as I have discovered if you have to feel it then you don't have it. From what I have gleaned it is just there and you don't really have to look for it. So how do I combat something that is the truth?

To say or believe in something contrary to the truth is to believe in a lie, isn't it? To draw a analogy from the bible it is building on sinking sand and it will fall. That is when I received a blast of inspiration.

In the bible there is the story of Lazarus. He had passed and been buried. Everyone knew it was true cause it had happened and they had seen the body. It was true yet Jesus showed up and said Lazarus was not dead but only sleeping. According to all that had been witnessed and by the perception the world at large Lazarus was dead but they were wrong. Jesus, although human in every way, was gifted with a mind that was not bound by the constrains of either the 5 senses we have nor the petty dogmatic constrains placed upon those that were there. He knew the true possibilities of what his Father had created and the potential if he believed in them. He stood their and called Lazarus out from his sleep and Lazarus came forth.

Well this could drive a man crazy because it is a conundrum. Everyone knew that Lazarus was dead because they saw it, it was the truth. Yet when Jesus showed up he said that Lazarus was just asleep, which by all the facts was a lie, yet when Jesus acted on his beliefs Lazarus came forth alive and well, which made the assertions of everyone else spurious in the least. Was it their fault? Were they guilty of lying? How in name of all that is Holy are any of us supposed to know what is truth if all we have to go on is what we gather with our 5 senses? It is maddening!!!!

I think the difference is in a little something called faith. According to Hebrews 11:1 " Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." In this statement the phrase "things hoped for" is what jumped out at me. When God created the world it did not exist. He believed in his ability to create what was not there and make it real. This power of creation was breathed into every one of us. Prior to Jesus walking on this world we could not fully walk in that power but after he was here we can. With this power we can make that which was not real, real. For us there are no limitations, well to a point. What we were is not important, just as the fact that Lazarus was (past tense) dead was not important. Jesus stood there and hoped for Lazarus to wake up and come forth. His faith in Gods power that God had given to every man (since he was just like every man) game his hope substance and when he spoke forth it became reality.

Another important part is the beginning of the verse. The very first word is "Now" which implies that there was a before in which faith was not the substance...ect. It is also important that there was no clarification on what would come after. No all it said was "Now". Well "Now" is now and now and now. The past doesn't matter because "Now" this is the way things are. This opens an interesting idea because I have been considering that although there is a past and will be a future, we only see the "Now". Even the past is colored by exactly where we are now. It is safe to say that all time is NOW because we only perceive it all now. Everything is in the NOW.

The last part of the verse is also extremely important. It says "the evidence of things not seen.". Well that says it, if things are not seen then they are not perceived and thus we cannot rely on our senses to determine anything about them. Thus we will be saying and believing things that are real by faith, but by the account of the 5 senses, a lie. It is a strange new world we live in where what is real is no longer determined by our 5 senses but instead by our faith in them and in our Creator.

This was the all the help I needed. I put all those thoughts and ideas to the side with a healthy sense of righteous indignation. I stormed right up to that place where this hideous abomination resided in my mind and preceded to kick its posterior.

All of those things may be true but only in the fact that they happened in the past. They do not determine the future nor my potential in that future and since all time is truly NOW that means they have not one thing to do with what I can do NOW. My hopes and dreams for the future are not wasted nor impossible for I have faith in what God has given me.

Now I can succeed in my endeavors!

Now I will succeed in my endeavors!

Now I am succeeding in my endeavors!

Now I don't for one minute think that it is all over with the Mundaemon. His forces lay in wait for just the right moment to strike. Legions of his Lehtarga-ticks are just chomping at the bit to take a hold of me and gorge themselves on my energy robbing me of it while the Mediocr-ites look for any opportunity to rush in and use their powers of illusion to make me believe that I am not special nor worthy of being special. Making themselves into insurmountable opponents that exploit past failures or flaws.

Well they will find me prepared! I have rediscovered a quote that is the central core of my belief and an expression of my faith.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson

On that note I will leave you all as I have much to prepare for. I only hope that you can glean some helpful perspective on a situation in your own lives from what I share here. Yes I have a flare for the dramatic and even megalo-dramatic but after all I am...

MATT-MAN THE UNMASKED DEFENDER OF IMAGINATION AND DEFENDER OF CREATIVITY!!!!!!!!

May the Force be with you!

EXCELSIOR!!!!

Matt-Man with his early morning buttery Questionaires.

2008-02-11T11:53:00.001-08:00

Hail and well met

Ok so it is not quite early morning anymore but when I started this it was.

1. Are you taller than your best friend?
Hmmm I do believe that I am just a bit taller then some of them but much less then others and many more that I haven't met yet so I don't know.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
yeah one that writes.

3. Look at your planner for March 7th, what are you doing?
DAY PLANNER? What is this "day planner" of which you speak?

4. What color are your toenails usually?
Well to be honest I don't know what color you would call them. Is there such a color as "naked"? OH do I color them....None of your damn buisness! :P

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
This quiz when I copied and pasted it...damn you mean with a pen, then I would have to say something printed on paper.

6. What color are the curtains in your bedroom?
Maroon

7. What color are the seats in your vehicle?
Greyish

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
Personally no, but by association yes.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
A letter...duh!

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
No I don't and I don't know anyone who knows anyone who lives in Wyoming. In fact I don't know anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who lives in Wyoming. I don't believe that there is even a Wyoming, it is all just a Govermetn conspericy.

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
Wow that would be a long time ago and I think it was just for the fun of spending 5 dollars to do it as well as to hear the machine make that rumbling metalic sound as it puked out my cash...WHY DO YOU THINK I HAD TO SPEND IT!!! Really who comes up with these questions?

12. Who is the last baby that you held?
Logan

13. Can you spell well?
Kan I spel, ha u betcha eye are abell 2. Awww you make me look bumber then usual.

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?
Mmmmm cinnamon toothpaste...so tastey...on ice cream.

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
Dodge Caravan.

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators:
The West Chutney Skinks

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
a long time ago.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
Well it is not my house so no. Actually there is none in this house so no. Now that you mention it as I think back over my habitations I have to amend that statement and say that you are a poopy head and NO!

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
Ok will you please be a little more specific here. Do you mean totally yellow or with yellow on it? I mean technically any print color picture has some yellow in it but it may not be decernable to the human eye. So do you have to be able to discern it with the human eye? What percentage of total "Yellowocity" is require to achive it counting for the purpses of your question?AH HA I see a yellow CD cover!

20. Last person you gave a business card?
I don't give buisness cards, I just give buisness! And buisness is GOOD!

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
Prpbably a bill collector or a store clerk...like 10 years ago.

22. Closest framed picture to you?
Dude why is it framed? What is up with the discrimination here? Are framed pictures "better" or something? Pictures are pictures framed or free, you remember that! (yeah there are no pictures framed or otherwise in this room)

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
Well Mel cooked pancakes last week but I didn't have her do it for me, she just did. I mean Val was there and as her husband I would assume that she did it for him and I just benifited from the exchange.

24. How many email do you get in your inbox daily?
Just the inbox the I would have to say no more then a dozen. If you included like the spam bin then ALOT!

26. Last time you received flowers
Dude I am a guy and we don't get flowers.

28. Do you play air guitar?
no the chello.

29. Has anyone ever proposed to you?
That all depends on what you mean by "proposed".

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
No, unless of coure she is willing...sorry that would be cream and sugar.

31. Do you own any Willow Tree figurines?
Ok I am going to ask that anyone reading this who knows the person that writes them to please do me a favor and get this perosn LAID!

32. What is/was your high school's mascot?
Rich East Rockets! Blast Off!

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
James

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
When my hands we unsanitary...DUH!

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
I don’t want to work. I just want to bang on the drums all day!

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
WHAT THE HECK!!! That question is so wrong! How insensitive can you be asking me about the “blinds” in my living room. They are people too and being blind does not define them. Then to ask what color they are? You are just not right in the head, what does their color have to do with anything. I think you need some serious help and to make a public apologize for this question.

Huh? Blinds on the windows to keep the light out not people that cannot see…CRAP

Cream and Grey.

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
Boy you just keep going don’t you. Gosh let me think real hard. Oh yeah….WORDS.

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might do something I don’t want to happen.

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
Gosh that is such a tough one, you know with all the places out there. I think the last place was Hong’s Chinese Food… Cause it wouldn’t be as simple as just saying A PIZZA JOINT!

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
Nope

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
I don’t remember but in the future I can see some fingers being stapled to a board.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
Yes and fell into a dimensional rift from which few returned.

44. Are you ticklish?
Yes but as with the ancient art of the Iron Skin Technique that spot is hidden from all but a chosen few (you know who you are :P)

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
Guy Falks day….dofus the 4th of July.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
Long ago but I still carry it with my, I think it is my right hip or my butt.

47. Last person that im'ed you, and you actually responded?
Terri

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
Never

49. Do you have a black dog?
Not directly but by association.

50. what do you think of people who don't like tacos?
People that don’t like tacos? Are you kidding me, there are no such things. I mean for someone to not like tacos they would have to be like aliens or something.

51. Are you an aunt or uncle?
As I have no siblings it is impossible for me to ever be an Uncle. By the way thanks for asking and bringing up such a painful subject.

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
Ah eyes the window to the soul. Eyes so beautiful that you can get lost in them, like swimming in the ocean. There are two answers to that one, Terri which is someone that I know and Michelle Phiefer the actress whom I don’t know but have seen in movies.

53. Last time you saw a semi truck?
Ok now I know you are grasping at straws. I work at the Post Office delivering mail so Saturday.

54. What is the last song you belted out in the car?
Well that is difficult as I drive for a living and I sing to a lot of songs on the radio. I do believe it was “Don’t stand so close to me”.

55. Do you have a little black dress?
Of course…wait what? No. Gah you and your trick questions!!

1. Does it matter to you if your bf/gf smokes?
No cause I do and wouldn’t be hypocritical about it if someone else does or doesn’t

2. How about drinking?
Same as above

3. Which do you prefer, beach or the mountains?
Well beach implies water and I love swimming while mountains imply climbing or hiking and while I don’t mind a good hike I prefer swimming. Also there tends to be less clothes involved with the beach. What? I am a guy so what do you expect.

4. If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
Hell yes! Of course that is a bit two faced as I don’t open up with important stuff like that. I guess in that I am a hypocrite.

5. Whats your favorite sport?
Sex. The best full contact sport that there is, ever was or ever will be.

6. Its saturday night, you're home alone, what do you do?
What? I run up stairs take a quick shower (cause I just finished work) and run out the door, head over to Val and Mel’s for role playing. Yes I am a dork and damn proud of it.

7. Who is your last text message from?
Track Fone telling me I got my minitues.

8. Can you do splits?
Oh yeah I can do splits, Banana are my favorites but I can also do pants and in a pinch I can sides. Oh you mean with your legs. Are you crazy? I am fat and a man of course I don’t do splits, I like my junk and don’t want to have it sucked up into my abdomen.

9. Do you like roller coasters?
My relationship with roller coasters has been a roller coaster ride…he he he. I used to love them then I gained a ton of weight and couldn’t do them anymore, then I lost some of the weight and now can do them again just don’t have the opportunity much.

10. When’s the perfect time to have a bf/gf?
Uh like anytime cause it is a awesome feeling when someone digs you like that.

11. What are you doing this weekend?
Well I work Saturday then later that evening I will be role playing and on Sunday I will just play it by ear.

12. Whats your favorite restaurant?
Hmmm well take out would have to be Hongs Chop Suey, fast food would have to be a tie between Chipotle and Potbelly but a sit down restaurant I would have to say Applebee’s.

13. Do you usually fall for the right or wrong girl/boy?
How do you define “right or wrong”? If you mean someone that can return what you feel then I have a perfect 50/50 record. If you mean someone that is good for you or not then I am lucky in that everyone I have fallen for has been good for me.

14. Have you ever hugged someone?
Oh yeah all the time.

15. Ever kissed someone you weren't attracted to?
Um yes once and I regretted it for various reasons.

17. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Ok lets face I am a guy so I do look at the body of the person but in fact I tend to look at their face for their demeanor. Features that tend to stand out are eyes and mouth especially a smile.

18.Do you want someone you can't have?
Oh come on. Who doesn’t have someone in their life they cannot have but want? Like everyone, that is the nature of love and life.

21.Jeans or sweats?
Hmm tough one to answer cause I love sweats around the house but I prefer jeans out and about. I guess it is a tie unless you are implying doing one or the other.

22. Which year has been the best so far?
The last good year was a long time ago, I have good runs but not a year, at least not yet.

23.What are you doing/did for your birthday?
Probably forgetting it.

24. What should you be doing right now?
Well cleaning, laundry, dishes, finishing up a ton of stuff in my room.

25. What is your favorite tv show?
Jeez just one is not possible I love to many, right now Big Bang Theory is at the top of the list.

26. Color?
Black and white

27. Are you attracted to girls/guys that smoke?
Doesn’t really matter.

28. Would you want a chilled laid back gf/bf or a party animal?
I am not sure I could live with one or the other. I would love a hybrid that likes to chill with bursts of Party animalism.

29. Have you ever fallen on your butt in front of a crowd of people?
My butt, nope. My face, several times.

31. What do you do when you're at home?
Well I watch way to much TV with bursts of chores and internet then I run out and do errands.

32. What side of the bed do you sleep?
When I sleep alone (which is almost all the time, I am so lonely) I tend to travel towards the middle. If I am with someone then I tend to let then pick and I take the other. I seem able to sleep on any side of a bed.

33. Scariest thing you've ever seen?
In real life I have to say deep ocean, in not real life zombies.

34. What annoys you?
Me

35. If you had one super power, what would it be?
The power to rearrange matter. If that is to vague then I would have to say fly.

36. Ever gone to saturday school?
No I was a good kid, not that it did me any good.

37. Been kicked out of class?
Um I don’t believe so but I tend to have a bad memory from those days.

38. Ever got arrested?
No

40. Who's your bestfriend?
So many would fit that description but I have to put one at the top and that one is James.

41.Whats your last text message say?
Mine as in one that I typed…I think it was “I am here, where are you”

42.Do you live with your mom and dad?
Not any longer.

43.Who annoys you the most?
Anyone who is both an egomaniac and arrogant.

Matt-Man on Questionaires and Videos

2008-02-08T21:14:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met.

I should be in bed but instead I find these things to put here for your consumption. Enjoy.

1. What is your occupation? Rural Carrier Associate
2. What color are your socks right now? naked
3. What are you listening to right now? The computer fan
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Chocolate cake
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?Probably one of the retired ones
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Um that would be Terri
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes
9. How old are you today? 38
10. Favorite drink? Tequila Sunrise
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? Don't really have a favorite sport but I have come to like Hockey
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? NO
13. Pets? Right now none, unless you count my roommates cat-Duke, in the past had a cat - Rumbles and a dog - Max
14. Favorite food? Orange Chicken
15. Last movie you watched? Happily Never After Funny movie
16. Favorite Day of the year? Just one? Well I like Memorial Day cause I met someone then but I also like Halloween
17. What do you do to vent anger? Heh clean and organize
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? My Bike or if you mean younger then Optimus Prime
19. What is your favorite season? Fall
20. Hugs or kisses? don't they really go together, I mean come on.
21. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry
22. Do you want your friends to email you back? yes
23. Who is most likely to respond? What am I a mind reader...Wait let me try...Grrrrrrr *POINK* Oww now I have a headache
24. Who is least likely to respond? Again with the fortune telling? Always in motion is the future
25. What happened to: this question?? My guess is that a dimension traveling evil doer stole it to wreak havoc with the space time continuum, or someone forgot it.
26. When was the last time you cried? January
27. What is on the floor of your closet? a lot of boxes I need to go through
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? James
29. Who is the friend you have had the shortest that you are sending this to? Um probably like Todd
30. Favorite smells? Vanilla or cinnimon
31. Who inspires you? friends
32. What are you afraid of? spiders and not doing what I know I can
33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? spicy
34. Favorite car? Toss up between the GTO from XXX or a PT Cruiser with the same paint job
35. Favorite cat breed? cuddly
36. Number of keys on your key ring? To darn many
37. How many years at your current job? 1year and two months with some change
38. Favorite day of the week? Saturday - Role Playing
39. How many states have you lived in? 1
40. Do you think you're funny? Right me funny? Who are you kidding. Have you even read some of my answers?

now play along - forward and fill in your answers

Matt-Man, One For All

2008-02-03T06:34:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met!

It has been a few weeks since I last updated. Been somewhat busy but mostly just didn't feel like it. Things are going OK. The new van works great. Work is work. I am working somewhat fervently on stuff for a upcoming trip down to see the guys in St. Louis at the end of February.

Last night I played D&D with the group for the first time in many weeks. It was good times and I feel better. We are going to play every weekend we can until Val's surgery in April at which point we will have to take it easy as he will be recovering.

On a personal note I discovered that there is a small gym literally next to the Post Office in Crete. I am considering signing up and getting back into a workout regimen. I liked working out and I know it made be feel better. The cost is a concern but I will figure something out.

My computer is pissing me off. The system dose not like Windows NT unless it has Service Pack 2 built in and no one I know has a copy that has that. So I am considering just chucking Windows all together and putting Linux on it and working all the kinks out. The big problem is no internet yet for that computer so going online for programs and the such is complicated. In the end all will work out of that I am sure.

Most days are livable but still have those days. Of course I am sure that is true of everybody so I will adapt and learn to live with it.

I miss seeing everyone. I hate having to curtail my trip plans. Again I will persevere because things will work out.

It may be early in the morning but I feel quite tired. So I am going to have some breakfast and get my butt moving.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Vs The Survey

2008-01-20T15:24:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

I was sent a survey recently and decided to take it. Instead of emailing it I decided to post it here so anyone that reads it would see it. So without further ado here is ...THE SURVEY!

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Clerk at Toys "R" Us
2. Assistant Manager at 3D-House of Games
3. Manager at Game-opolis
4. Rural Carrier Associate (Post Office guy)

Four movies I've watched more than once:
1. Raiders of the Lost Arc
2. Star Wars
3. Noises Off
4. Van Helsing

Four places I have lived:
1. Park Forest, IL
2. Park Forest, IL (Different address)
3. Lansing, IL (Hey I lived at the store, plus there is the Loft)
4. Um...Yeah that is all. I am boring.

Four of my favorite TV shows:
1. The Big Bang Theory
2. Babylon 5
3. Greatest American Hero
4. Firefly

Four places I have been:
1. Wal Mart...In Carbondale!
2. Lothorian
3. Mel and Val's Apartment
4. Universal Studio Theme Park Orlando Florida

People who e-mail me (regularly):
1. Terri
2. Aunt Rebbecca
3. My Space
4. Crazy ad people

My favorite foods:
1. Orange Chicken
2. Real good hamburger
3. Pizza
4. Roasted Corn

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Carbondale
2. Lansing
3. Lothlorian
4. Atlanta

Four friends I think will respond:
1. Not sure who is
2. left, so I would
3. have to say
4. anyone that wants to

FOUR Things I am looking forward to this year:
1. Seeing the guys from St Louis
2. Being able to wear shorts and sandals (I hate the cold)
3. Something I cannot say cause I don't want to jinx it
4. Hopefully going back to Lothlorian (unless it has been overrun with stupid people)

Matt-Man...Out Of Gas?

2008-01-14T20:02:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

Yeah it is worth a laugh. It appears that the only thing wrong with my van was a lack of fuel. The gauge is off so while I thought I still had about a quarter tank I was on E.

My Dad went to see Frank (the used car guy) and he was upset that the car was not working. He called his mechanic and had him drop everything and get to work looking at the van. After several hours of finding nothing Frank called the previous owner who informed him that he had replaced the fuel pump but the gas gauge didn't work right after. Frank called and told the mechanic to get some gas and presto it started and he then drove it around to make sure that it was ok. It has a clean bill of health and I am back in buisness.

I want to thank those that responded to my post. There are some calls I will be making in the future. It is a great comfort and a bit humbling to be reminded just how many friends I have in this world. I am rich beyond the dreams of avarice. Now I have to start treating them better.

All in all I laughed for several minutes when I learned about the van. I needed it and I feel better now. What is really interesting is that even with all this going on I didn't find today to be stressful at all. I mean I had a shit-ton of mail to deal with, more then usual in my opinion and of course those wonderful penny savers. I got out of the office at almost 1 and was back by 4:20. Then I was out of the office by 5:30, so a long day but I didn't feel it at all. I actually think I enjoyed the day.

Maybe I am just growing up.

What me grow up!? I must be crazy.

Tomorrow I am on my regular route and the same on Wednesday which will be fun and easy, especially with my NEW VAN!

I will post when ever possible and get those calls going soon.

Thanks again for everything.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Thinks....

2008-01-13T19:30:00.000-08:00

And the angels cried.

Hey and well met

I sit here and type in preparation for going to work tomorrow. Now there is the usual conflict with having to be in the office on a Monday and all that comes with it but on top of that are two things.

First is the fact that I am going to have to use my old van again. I say old because last Friday I (with the help of my Father) purchased a newer van, well it is the same year but you know what I mean. Now the reason I have to use my old van is that 24 hours, almost to the minute, the new van stopped working.

So now it is sitting at the used car lot waiting until tomorrow when my Father will go and speak to the owner (someone that he knows which is why I we bought the car from him). Of course I am not able to do it because I am working (ok that makes three things I hate about tomorrow).

The second is that I have to face my boss. That is not usual except that on top of everything else my phone was not working last week so I missed some calls from the office. So I am sure I am going to get a talking to about that. I don't think I am fired cause I would have known that Saturday but I am not really looking forward to facing this. I really don't like conflict in any form, but you all should know that by now.

Part of the problem is that on some levels I am not freaking out. I know isn't it weird. I am usually the first one to jump on the freak out band wagon but not this time. I am just going with the flow. It is strange cause part of me is freaking out and another part is freaking out that it is not freaking out. Can you say "conflicted"?

Part of this is probably is tied to the fact of what has happened recently. Nothing in this world really seems all that bad since that day. I mean it hurts but worse then that is the fear. No not fear it is more dread. The dread that I am destined to be alone. Oh boy is it starting again.

All the thoughts and feelings that I have felt before coming back and having a solid foundation in fact. I don't want to start blathering on cause it sucks.

That is all.

Matt-Man IV: A New Dope

2008-01-10T12:17:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met.

Just another good day and I have decided to try and move away from saying anything about "IT".

So here for your viewing pleasure and fun....

So yeah if the Empire had gone this route I would have joined up! Hubba Hubba.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Lost In Transition

2008-01-08T19:59:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

Well it is about time I posted on current events. It is not easy at all considering what I have to impart. To be totally truthful it is quite painful.

There is a lot of information that goes into what I am about to say but I don't feel like putting it here. I don't even guarantee that if you ask I will tell you.

Terri and I have ended our relationship.

I don't want anyone bad mouthing Terri (not that I think anyone would but some of you can be very protective as friends)what happened between us was talked over and mutually decided upon. We are still friends and don't roll your eyes and tell me that it is not possible, it is and we are. She is still dear to me and I care about her.

It is a simple matter of reality. Right now we are not in a position to be what the other wants or needs. Staying together would only make things worse cause we would both be trying to fit the square peg in the round hole...(oops that didn't sound as good in type as it did in thought, but it is me :P ).

Yes it hurts. Quite a bit more then I thought it would but I will endure. Right now all I can do is live day to day and hope one of them will not begin with me realizing she is not with me. The struggle against depression continues with good days and bad days. This is a good day and it is why I am posting today. Trust me a bad day would not be good (kinda reminds me of the self indulgent bull I was typing a couple of years ago).

I know I made some mistakes. I know I failed on many levels. I know I let her down. I don't plan on focusing on those because they are not going to change. All I can do is try and learn from them and move forward.

Yeah way easier to say then do.

So that is what is going on for the most part. Well I am working on my games again and a trip to see the guys in St. Lois is in the works.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Moments of Trasitions

2008-01-03T08:41:00.000-08:00

Quoted from Babylon 5 Season 3 episode "Z'Ha'Dum" Spoken by G'kar played by Andreas Katsulas

"It was the end of the Earth year 2260, and the war had paused, suddenly and unexpectedly.

All around us, it was as if the universe were holding its breath . . . waiting.

All of life can be broken down into moments of transition or moments of revelation. This had the feeling of both.

G'Quon wrote, There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way.

The war we fight is not against powers and principalities – it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender.

The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation.

No one knows the shape of that future, or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain."

This speaks volumes. This is where I am. Now I must wait for the universe to exhale.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man - Revelations

2007-12-30T20:44:00.000-08:00

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of "Spiritus Mundi"
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

-- William Butler Yeats, "The Second Coming"

I should read more poetry.

One Matt-Man To Rule Them Alll

2007-12-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

Hey just a quick post to let everyone see the great news...

The Hobbit

Matt-Man, Now Live And In Color

2007-12-14T17:09:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

Ok so here is the current situation and it is a can of worms.

Earlier this week I had some trouble with the Matt-mobile when the heater stopped working. I was concerned and as soon as possible called my mechanic to see about getting it in. Well he suggested that I check my antifreeze, which I did and it was low. Well I went out and bought some and put it in.

Then later that day I noticed a puddle under my car, not a big one but a puddle none the less. I checked and sure enough I was low again on antifreeze. Now with my concern peaked again I made a second call and then dropped off my car yesterday.

Whelp I called today and was informed that I was looking at replacing my water pump, but that was not enough to drop on me. The water pump is located under the timing thinger-majig so as standard practice when replacing the water pump you also replace the timing belt. That runs all total around 7 to 8 hundred dollars.

Yeah about then I was ready to toss my breakfast. Then he said something else.

It appears that something to do with the font supports or struts or shocks or something is getting bad and really the car is not worth putting the money in.

Great could he have told me this earlier this year so I could have saved the 1200 dollars I have dumped into it in that time and could use now to buy a new car?

Yeah so if I was bummed before about xmas sucking it just got bumped up a couple of notches.

This means that until I find a way to generate enough money to buy a new car I have to baby this one to get through and pray that it hold out until I have the cash. It also means absolutely no extraneous driving. That means that I cannot go out to see either Terri or the guys in Lansing!

I really want to just to start screaming.

Ok not all news is bad. My roommate Bill is coming through with some help from his family about fixing my car...well enough to get me through a couple months while I pry the cash from the worlds cold covetous screwed up hands.

It still means I need to hold out on extra driving so as to max the time I get out of my car.

Grrrrrrr it just pisses me off so much cause I was doing well for awhile but with the cut back in hours it is going to be tight.

I know something will come through cause it always does but it is just going to be the matter of waiting for it to make its appearance.

So if anyone is open to the idea of coming out and getting me tomorrow please let me know cause I really want to play in Val's game and after I really want to get stupid with some alcohol (well as much as I can afford with needing money for the repairs and new car)

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man is Rolling Free, All The Rest Are Stoned!!!!!!!

2007-12-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

It is 11 here at the new Matt-Cave. I am getting ready to put a slew of things on Ebay shortly..or at least get everything rolling (hence part of the title).

I also have discovered something really cool. It is called Pandora and it is a free online radio server. You create your own station with the artists you want and like so many others it plays artists not on your list based on the ones that are giving you a chance to vote it up or down. There are unlimited fast forwards and no ads. It is amazing.

If you would like to find out more follow the link on in the side bar. You can also give Radio Free Matt-Man a listen if you like or not. I have collected a cornucopia of artists that I have listened to over the years and dumped them all in one station. It is crazy.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

The Future is Matt-Man

2007-12-06T14:07:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met

Ok I am typing a shorty today.

I am doing OK, not great or even good just OK. That is fine with me cause I know that there are a load of people out there who don't even have that going for them.

Work is pissing me off. I cannot beg borrow or steal hours at the moment. Which means that I am looking at a crappy Christmas. Yeah I know you are all going to say that I don't need to get you anything. From your point of view maybe. I love giving gifts to people and seeing their face.

The other side of that coin is that is also screwing with my ability to go up and see Terri. This time last year I was spending weekends up there with her on monthly basis but now I haven't been up there except for Thanksgiving for probably a couple of months. It is driving me fucking insane. What is the point of a so called "good" job if I find I am doing less then I did when I didn't have one!

Ah screw it. I have to deal and that is that.

I am looking with fervor for an opportunity that will allow for greater returns on my time and effort. With some luck I will find one.

People are coming home soon and I will be seeing each and every one of you. With things the way they are I am really looking to tie one on sometime. Oh and I mean seriously not the half ass binges found at the last couple of loft parties. No I mean shit faced passed out in the yard kinda drinking.

You know the "I hate you train!" kinda things.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

I Want More, I Want Matt-Man!

2007-11-28T08:36:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met.

I made the decision that no matter what is going on I am going to keep putting posts up. So here it goes.

Things haven't changed much since my last post. I am looking at my schedule for the next week and seeing that I am looking at only one day. Of that was the case this week but I worked yesterday out of the blue. I don't want to get on a soap box again but it just frustrates me that no matter what I have no idea what is gong on from day to day.

Ok the other half of this is that I am going into the holiday season with a crappy monetary forecast. I know everyone is going to say that I don't need to get them something for Christmas but dammit I like getting people stuff for the season. Oh well I will just have to be creative and really seek something special for everyone.

I am considering an opportunity that comes at some risk but I cannot sit back and ignore the facts that others, so many others have made a good amount of cash using this opportunity. It won't be easy or without work but by the Creator I know that I have the ability to do the work and make the effort. I am not looking to become independently wealthy but I won't refuse it if it becomes possible. Really all I want is the ability to make some more money doing something that will not be hampered by my insane schedule.

I want to take this moment to apologize to everyone that was up for Thanksgiving for not seeing any of you. I know that I was busy but that shouldn't have stopped me from trying. I am Matt-Man for goodness sake.

So what else can I talk about. Hmmm...

Well gaming is going ok. We stared up the D&D game on the Saturday before Thanksgiving and will resume this coming Saturday (if all works out that is). Val has offered me the opportunity to run a second character of a more combat orientated nature since we have lost almost all of our heavy hitters.

I never really have run a combat heavy character before, well not and really meant it. I mean there was Tiny Schwartz the barbarian but that was back in high school and was just for fun.

So I began to think of a character that I could deal with and damn if I didn't come up with one. I have to clear a few things with Val before I get to psyched but I know him well enough that I am sure he will get goose bumps when I tell him my idea.

No I am not going to put it here until I have clearance from Val to run with the character idea. But once I do I will let everyone in on my little creation.

Well that about covers things right now... mostly. You see with my current financial blight I am finding it hard to keep myself in cigarettes and that has forced me to deal with the monkey. Let me tell you it is jumping real hard right now. So I will finish typing for now before I let it taint my words and go punch a wall or something.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Runs With The Wind

2007-11-25T21:03:00.001-08:00

Hail and well met

I am hoping all is well with everyone.

I am doing ok. Thanksgiving was amazing. I went up to Terri's the Wednesday before to catch a Wolves game with her. Then I stayed over and after cleaning up some leaves with her we went to her parents for dinner. It was quite enjoyable to spend time with her and her family. The only thing that sucked was having to leave early so I could get back to go to work.

You see I had to work the whole week of Thanksgiving. My regular makes a trip to visit with family in Tennessee. So I worked the whole week, including the day after. You see I am going to rant about this again.

What the hell is the point of having a quote "holiday" if you pay for it with double or even triple the work load when you get back? I don't see the point. Yes I am glad to have the time to spend with family and friends. I would prefer to have a little more control of when I take it and when I get screwed. The mail never stops flowing and it just piles up, just like garbage. So when ever we take a day it just waits to for us to come back and thanks to the single mindedness of the Post Office we are pushed to get it all out in one day. There are some concessions made but not many.

I would prefer to choose the time and place that I get it up the ass. Oh and that would mean never and I mean NEVER take a Monday off. That is the dumbest idea ever. Mondays are already heavy due to the fact the again even though we are off on Sunday the mail still flows, so on Monday there is roughly two days of mail. God forbid that we have a Monday off due to a holiday cause that means we have the equivalent of three days of mail and since most stupid holidays that we have off are late in the year we are in the holiday rush of catalogs and ad letters and parcels. That means a shit-ton of mail on the Tuesday after a Monday holiday.

Just let us deliver the mail and choose when we take the days off. Of course people will take the holidays off like Thanksgiving and Christmas but Memorial day? Veterans Day? Labor Day? These I don't mind working and taking a day off later when I can use it. Like during the slow time after Christmas so I can go on a weekend trip or something.

Ok the rant is done.

Well now I am sitting here typing out a post after a day of sorting and organizing all the crap in my room. I took all the measurements for better shelves to maximize the storage and display space. Oh I also got my drawing/painting table cleaned off and acquired a second chair so I now have a chair for my computer/writing desk and one for the other. I feel so opulent (wow never thought I would ever get to use that word in a sentence and in the proper context!). I guess it is kind of the same feeling people had when they first had two TV's.

Tomorrow if I don't work (knock on wood) I will do both my laundry and visit my parents. I was supposed to do that today but just had to get the room worked on.

Oh I need to apologize to everyone that came home for the holiday for my absence but between work and going up to see Terri I was worn out. I am just not adjusted or accustom to the work load and the wear and tear on my body.

I feel all of my 37 years. I am not getting old! I am just not in shape.

Need to get back to working out.

Wow I have ranted and raved on and really said not one damn thing.

I feel just like a elected official!

Matt-Man for senator!

Matt-Man for congressman!

I mean Ben took Pope so I cannot take that.

I could be President but so far that seems like a suck job. Well definitely not a job that anyone takes seriously anymore.

Thanks Bush!!!!!!!!!

Ok well I will try and figure out a better post for later.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man, Made From The Best Stuff On Earth!

2007-11-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

Hail and well met!

I have not posted in awhile. For the most part I have been very busy working on finishing up the move. I had to make some shelving for the Matt-Cave so I could use the drawers that I got from Ben. So now I have more storage space. This is a good thing as I have discovered that I have WAY more stuff then I ever realized.

Things are still very tense right now. I have had to except that I cannot fix the situation with my parents and worrying about it only makes me worse off. I still care about them and their wellbeing, I just know that there is nothing I can do about it right now. I will help where I can and accept it when I can't.

Here is a strange side bar. I know that I am getting older. How do I know? Here is a shocker.

I like oatmeal.

I have never liked oatmeal before. On the bright side I don't like plain oatmeal, only the flavored kind. So there is still some kid in me still.

The job is the job. I hate parts of it but on a whole I like it. It is most certainly not what I want to do for the rest of my life but it will do for now. I just have to keep that in mind so I don't lose myself in it like I did at GO. You know keep my options open.

Terri is doing ok. I am going to go up and spend Thanksgiving with her family. I am working all that week for my regular as she goes to Tennessee to visit family. This is cool with me as she does it every year, the part that pisses me off are the other carriers. Two of them in particular. They habitually take the day after a holiday off due to the volume of mail that piles up. Come on people this is the job you chose for good or bad. Don't wuss out just cause it might be a little heavier after a holiday. That just means someone else has to take up your slack, which usually means me.

Anyway I am looking forward to the holiday week as it means that some people will be in from collage and I will have a chance to see them.

Oh hey if any of you are reading this I have a question to ask. Can any of you do any or all of the following things?

1) Attach a fan to a mother board?
2) Install said mother board into a tower?
3) Install a hard drive?
4) Install a power supply?

I ask this only because I thought I might try and fix my computer but I realize that I am just not that mechanically intuitive and don't want to screw it up. So if any of you do then shoot me a line either here or my email or even the forum so we can (if you don't mind) hook up and work on it. If not no big deal I will figure something out, I always do.

Heck just drop me a line so I can know when and where you are going to be if or when you are coming home so we can just hang out.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man.....I Don't Know

2007-10-30T20:47:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Ok so I am going to put it all here.

My parents are on the verge of being evited. Dad has been unable to get work in a steady enough flow to provide for the costs of living. I don't know what they are doing. I don't know what to do.

That is the major reason for my moving out. About four and a half months ago my Dad sat me down and informed me that at that point we (I was still living there) were three months behind on rent (technicly called carring charges). I was somewhat pissed off that he had waited to inform me of this situation and made the decision to move out.

The fact of the matter is that if not for the generocity and patience of my good friend Bill I would have been up shit creek to move out. I don't make enough at the Post Office to support myself. It makes me feel so useless and such a loser.

Now they are even closer to being kicked out and still I don't have any way to help. Not even an idea or avenue for them to get help. The only thing that keeps me sane is my Aunt Rebecca. She has made it clear that if worse comes to worse she will help them out. That means they will be going to Texas. At least they have that.

My hopes of getting my games produced are starting to look like pipe dreams. My job is starting to look like a dead end. If anything happens I am screwed. I know Bill would be nice but I cannot expect him to tolerate having no money coming from me. If things fall apart any more then they are right now I have nowhere to go and nothing to fall back on.

I am my Fathers son.

I don't want to be depressed but I don't know how to avoid it. That damned roaring abyss of darkness has creeped back in my gut.

Oh and there is Terri. No nothing is wrong. Well nothing except that I cannot be there for her. I don't have a stable job to allow me to be with her. There is little I can do to support her. All I have is the love I feel for her. Whoever said that love is enough needs to live in the real world for a couple of years. Cause as far as I can see love don't pay the bills or keep them from kicking you out.

I just don't know what to think or do anymore.

Matt-Man, Raise the Roof

2007-10-26T12:56:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Ok quick post here. I am alive and well. Things are going well. I am finishing up my move out of the old house. It is kinda sad but things have to move forward.

I am still yearning to play....anything!

Well preferably a good RPG but I am willing to play almost anything.

I also desperately need to get back to painting.

Ok well I am off to do something. Hope to see everyone this weekend, oh I won't be making it to the concert cause I totally missed the fact that a ticket was required so I didn't get one. So I will be hanging around outside being all creepy and stuff till the party starts after. Oh yes I will be lurking.

Later all

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and The Life

2007-10-17T21:37:00.001-07:00

Hail and well met

I sit here realizing that I haven't posted for a number of days (more like a couple of weeks). In truth I have been a mix of busy and lazy. I have been working almost every day of the week. Again a lot of this has been short notice and has been driving me crazy.

I have been up to see Terri for the Wolves home opener and will be seeing her this coming weekend for the Haunted Trails. It is a trail in a forested park and several groups are allowed to create scenes that people then walk through. Our scene is about the "Wizard of Oz" but with a twist. I am playing the Tin-Man and have not been fully briefed on what the twisted part is. But my muse has been peaked and I have been furiously coming up with some ideas for a role play. I don't know the system but the story is getting really good. If anyone has any idea for what system to use let me know. I was thinking WOD since it kind of fits the mood of the story but I am open to suggestions.

Anyway I am also looking to get up to see Phantom of the Opera while it is in town. It is my hope to get to go with Terri. When I mentioned it she expressed an interest in seeing "Wicked" so I am looking into that.

I also really want to play something. I have been out of the gaming loop for way to damn long. Although I wouldn't mind some table top action I would also like to get some RPGing in as well.

I know many are away for school but I also know some home trips are coming up. Since the collapse of the super hero game this last summer I REALLY need to get a game going and finish it, or just give up on it altogether.

Well maybe not altogether but definitely pull back.

Nah who am I kidding? I love it way to much.

Anyway things are going well otherwise. The move has been halted while I am working so much. The next couple of days will see me off so I am hoping to make some strides in the direction of getting everything moved out.

I am still not fully adjusted to being out on my own...well sort of at least.

On other fronts I have heard from Ben in St.Louis and we are going to be starting up again. I am still considering my options as far as my games go but I still want to work with them. What sucks is that a trip down there would be the best way to get up to speed but with my out of control schedule that is not really possible.

But there is always the internet and phone calls. I am not giving up nor losing hope. I am alive and as long as there is life there is hope.

Yeah so looking forward to seeing Mel and Val tomorrow and the up coming Halloween party/concert. DAMN I need a costume! Wait maybe I can borrow the Tin-Man costume? I will have to look into that. Or I could get something together to be the infamous Matt-Man? Who knows.

So that wraps up things for now. I will hopefully see everyone soon or at least talk to them.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

There and Back Again A Matt-Man Tale

2007-10-06T21:54:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

It has come to my attention that the Hollywood is yet again playing games with our hearts. I was working today and while placing mail in the case I came across Entertainment magazine. The cover announced that the Hobbit movie was going to be made and intimated veteran LoTR Director Peter Jackson would be doing it. Now I am not allowed to read other peoples magazines so I could not pop it open and get the real poop. I have done some online reading and it seems to contradict the assertions of the magazine.

The first problem was the fight over the rights to make the movie. I don't know the particulars but someone had the rights to make the film and would not give them up for New Line or any other studio to make a Hobbit movie.

Apparently that has been rectified. Thank the maker for that, cause I was getting ready to pop a industrial can of Matterocity on the subject.

Now I have come to understand that a conflict between Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema is keeping the man who was born to bring Tolkin's works to the silver screen. For those that don't know here it is in a nutshell (please read up on this for complete details and all the nuisances)

New Line Cinema is alleged to have doctored the books on the bottom line take on The Fellowship of the Ring DVD sales and in doing so stiffed Jackson money.

Again it is somewhat more complicated then that but that covers the basics.

DOES MATT-MAN HAVE TO FLY TO WHEREVER NEW LINE CINEMA'S OFFICES ARE AND LAY THE MATTEROCITY DOWN!!!

Just make the damn movie and let Peter Jackson do what he was born to do.

Does New Line owe him money? I don't know and can't say.

All I do know is that I want a Hobbit movie!

I WANT IT NOW!!!

Ok I am out of here for now.

Go and look up the Hobbit on IMDB.com for further information.

The Hobbit

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Meets the Challenge

2007-10-04T17:37:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I went blog hopping and found these on a friends blog. So here are my results.

66% Geek

Free Online Dating from JustSayHi

381 WATTS

100% Free Personals from JustSayHi

Free Online Dating from JustSayHi

$3140.00

JustSayHi - Free Personals

Your Birthdate: September 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head.
You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking.
People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right.
You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself.

Your strength: Your original approach to thinking

Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others

Your power color: Pale blue

Your power symbol: Wavy line

Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

It was fun and somewhat humbling. But who cares. I am Matt-Man!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man, You've Got It!

2007-10-03T14:26:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

It has been a little while since I posted. Mostly I have been working or recovering from work. There are a few things have happened, seeing Terri being the most notable.

I am in good spirits and health. The next two weeks will be telling as I am working for the majority of both of them. It is good news on the cash flow note but as far as free time goes it sucks. Ah well I am not one to complain...much. It is the same ole' soapbox. No set scheduling, being on call 24/6 (we all have Sunday off) and all the stress that comes from coming in to someone else's mess and cleaning it up. Now it has been rougher then usual as I have run afoul of my Post Master. It started with a simple mistake while recording my time on the card and then followed up later that week by a misunderstanding that was taken to far. I won't go into details as I am not sure where that dreaded boundary line is on what is privileged information and what is open to the public.

Today things seemed better but I know that the ugliness is just waiting under the surface to pop out and strike me. Unfortunately what they don't understand is the one fact that keeps me going with a smile on my face (albeit pained and strained at times) and that fact is ....

I am Matt-Man
and
I am INVINCIBLE!!!!

No weapon formed against me shall prosper and any voice that rises up against me I shall condemn. If the attempt to come in like a flood, a standard shall be raised against them.

These are paraphrased verses from the bible (yes I still believe in and read it). So just let them try and destroy me and they will discover just how painful it feels to run into a solid brick wall (spiritually speaking that is).

Things are going well and I am looking forward to the next few months and the challenges that come along with them.

I hope this finds all well and if not then let me know about it. Give me a call, drop me a email or something. Come on people I am your friend and I care. I may not have the time or mental capacity to call I apologize but the communication road goes both ways.

Anyway enough for this post I am off to change my clothes, relax for a while and then maybe go see Resident Evil Extinction.

May the Force be with you all

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man and the Roller Coaster of Life

2007-09-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Wow it has been a roller coaster since my last post. To start off I had an amazing time at Lothlorien. The weather not withstanding (it was hot and humid in the day but the nights were cool, literally cold). It was great seeing everyone again. Walking through those woods was relaxing and revitalizing.

Then I got back. Today was a royal pain in the ass. Tons of mail and to top it all off getting dumped half of route 10. On a Monday they decide to give me half of another route, albeit the aux route (which means it is not big enough to be considered a real full time route) it is still a pain to deal with more stops when Penny Savers are involved.

So after working an 11 hour day half of which was in a car with the sun beating down I am in a world of pain and discomfort.

Now comes some good news. It is going to be an awesome rest of the week. Thursday I am running up to Terri's for a lobster dinner at Bob Chins with a tour of the facility. It should be amazing. Then after work Saturday I am again running to see Terri but this time it is at a campground in Peoria and then back to her place. The great thing is that I don't work on that Monday so I can stay and be with her. It is going to be AMAZING!

So yeah it has been a upper and downer couple of days. But life is that way sometimes. It is not the things that happen to us but how we deal with them that counts.

Ok that is all for this post I will see everyone later.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Counts Down to Loth!

2007-09-18T13:37:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

There are only 3 and a half days till Loth!!!!!!

I am so psyched about going I cannot express how I am looking forward to this. I have Saturday off and although I am working that Monday I can get home in plenty of time to get sleep.

YEAH LOTH!!!!!!!!!!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man, More then Meets the Eye

2007-09-16T19:31:00.000-07:00

Ok I know my last post was heavy but I just found this and had to try it out. Well guess what? I found out which Transformer I am.....

Find out which Transformer you are at LiquidGeneration!

HA! I got the coolest and baddest Autobot of them all The Amazing Bumblebee!

That just made my day!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man is...

2007-09-16T10:29:00.001-07:00

Hail and well met

It has been a deep and painful morning. Today is the 16th of September and it is my birthday. I was born in 1969 in St. James hospital. Today I am 38 years old.

At first I tried to forget about it being my birthday. I had all but succeeded when my awesome girlfriend Terri reminded me last night. Thank you sweetie it was important that I not forget it or let it pass by. You are the most amazing thing in my life and the reason for me staying in the world. With out you I would have slipped back into my ghost mode and allowed everything to pass me by. In you I have found the strength to fight off the darkness that dwells within and tries again and again to drag me down and turn my eyes inward. You see the inward turned eye sees nothing but self and in that I would have lost any vision of that which lies outside. I was there once before and it was the worst time of my life. All I concerned myself with was how I was in pain and alone, but I was creating that by looking only inward. I was keeping everyone and everything away, it has taken me a long time to be willing to say all of this.

We are taught that evil, the devil or whatever you call it exists outside as some entity. This incarnation of evil attempts to hurt us or turn us away from goodness with these powers that seem to be greater then the powers of good. That is a lie and to use the colloquialism "straight out of the pit of hell". This thing is not outside in some fire filled pit, it is within all of us. It is that voice that tries to turn us against ourselves. As for its great powers, it has none save the ability to lie and lie well. It has to trick us into using our own God given powers for its purpose. That is how it works. We are the creation of the Creator and in such we are given a measure of his power, the power to create. No matter how big or small we all create in some way, fashion or form and that is the Creator's power expressing itself through us. This pathetic little evil has no powers of its own so it lies to us and tricks us into using our powers for its needs and in turn we hurt others and make things that hurt others and ourselves.

This morning it almost won. I almost turned away from everything I know is right and gave up. It was trying to make me feel that I am a waste of space and time. With sickening sweet words it tried to convince me that I was not worthy of all the good things in my life or capable of being anything more then I am right now. Worst of all it tried to take away Terri by making me think I was not worthy of her and that she could do better with someone else, so I should push her away to find that person.

But all of that is a HUGE LIE. A lie that I don't buy into nor do I give any credence to. To go back to a moment when I found light in darkness the first time I recall two things. One is a quote from a movie that is a abridged version of a quote from an inspirational speaker named Marianne Willamson and I place it here for all to read again.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

The second is a strange little audio clip that I cannot find again, maybe it never really existed except for that moment when I needed it. I will do my best to paraphrase.

We are the creation of the Creator, no matter what you call him. He did not create us to be weak and powerless but gave us great power. He gave it to us! All we have to do is except it we become invincible. We have to envision him giving us this power, this light as all of our friends, loved ones do as well. We are invincible! Just except that nothing can destroy you, the real you not this crude body of flesh and blood, the being of light that is the real you and me.

Ever since I heard and read these two things I have found that I can face that inner voice of doubt and fear with renewed strength and resistance.

Even this morning when it struck with vengeance.

I was watching "Lady in the Water" ,an awesome movie and it struck. I do not choose to give its words the any power by repeating them. It is safe to say that it attacked me on many levels. Maybe it was the fact of it being my birthday and all that it brings with it, I was weak to its attack and almost fell to it. It is also the fact that I am coming to realize that yet again I am losing my family.

No not my parents, although there is some trouble there as well. No I am referring to my extended family. You see I lost the family I made in high school when everyone went away, I quickly found others but it still hurt. Then I had a family at 3D House of Games, but they were taken away. Then I had the family at Gameopolis and for all my might they are going away as well. Please don't misunderstand I know it is the natural progression of things and I am glad and proud that everyone is developing their own lives and taking the first steps on their own paths, but that does not stop it from hurting. Things have passed and will never be again. I must accept this and in doing so move on.

All of these things have built up in me and that damnable voice tried to trick me into falling the abyss because of them. Only one thing kept me from falling in.

Terri.

I love you so much! It was thinking about you and what we have together that gave me the ability to turn away and allow the voice to fall silent. It was knowing how you feel about me that filled my limbs with strength to type this and in doing so fully free myself from its grip. Thank you for loving me and know that I shall always love you.

I AM MATT-MAN!

I AM INVINCIBLE!

WE ARE ALL INVINCIBLE!

To close I quote from Babylon 5 a Egyptian blessing...

May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.

May the Force be with you all

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man on Zombies...

2007-09-09T15:29:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Yup I am feeling in an undead mood and trust Youtube to help me express it. I hope you all enjoy these offerings, if you have already seen them

Tough!

I like them and that is that.

HA I love being a little brat.

Well not so little but definitely a brat

Later all

May the Flesh be with you

Excelsior!!!

Things Go Better With Matt-Man

2007-09-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

It has been a few days since I posted. Mostly because I have been running around. Last weekend I went up to see Terri for Labor day. It was amazing.

Since then I have been running around like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. I have never seen such a rush of mail. We still have not caught up. I have been getting up an hour earlier and getting home later. It looks to be around 10 to 12 hour days. I am hoping to get Friday off and make a trip up to see everyone Thursday night and maybe Friday during the day and early evening. I am also going to make it up to Ferric's concert and B-Day Bash this Saturday.

It should be awesome.

Oh I know I have not posted the rest of the Gen Con report...in truth I will do so but consider it the abridged cliffnote version. Sort of the bullet points.

Other then that I am good, tired but good. I cannot wait to see everyone.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

I'd Sleep with Matt-Man...

2007-08-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Yeah I would have to say that if given a chance I would sleep with Matt-Man, of course I have to since I am Matt-Man but it is a good feeling to know that if I ever found myself at a bar I wouldn't mind going home with me.

I do have to say that things are not really great. I don't know what is wrong but I know I am not right. No I don't intend to spiral into a boring post about me (and lets face it I am quite boring). No I am just trying to get a handle on why all of a sudden I am unable to get away...

Wait I may have just put my finger on it and I don't really like it one bit.

I was getting away from my P's when I went out to lansing before and now I don't have to do that to be me I can be me right here. I am not being repressed by the set of conditions that I was living in. Wait that really makes me an asshole. Cause I used people as an escape from my situation and now that that situation has changed I seem to be unable to head out and see them?

Oh CRAP! What the fuck is wrong with me? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

I don't want to think that I can do something like that but it is apparent that I have and am doing that. That only means one thing, I have to change what I a doing.

I will cut myself a little slack as it is the first time in my life I am free to be the me that has always been locked up while I was living at my P's house. It is kind of like not having something for a real long time and then being able to have it and going ape shit. There is a word for that, what is it?

Oh yeah binging.

Alright then I have to stop binging and take control of my life and change.

Crap what was I originally going to post on? I lost sight of it in the light of self realization. Damn bright light...

No

Damn sunrise, hurts my eyes!

Ben for Pope!

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

(when I remember what I was going to post about I will, until then this is it....sorry)

Matt-Man on The Movies

2007-08-26T11:35:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I know that I have to finish talking about Gen Con and I will but first I have to talk about a movie I just found out about. Knowing how things go I am sure I am the last to know about it but here it goes anyway. It is called Dragon War and it is a special effects extravaganza. I gather from the story that dragons once were used as weapons in ancient wars and some how come back in present day. I don't care about the story much cause I intend on watching dragons of all types battle it out on the big screen. Take a look at the trailer and some of the other stuff on the site Dragon-war.

Ok now to finish talking about Gen Con. Were did I leave off, oh yeah I went back to the hotel and went to sleep. Well not right away I had to figure out what I was going to do all the next day. So I looked and searched through the event catalog for things I wanted to do. I found several seminars I wanted to attend (yes I said wanted to but I will explain soon). So with that in mind I shut off the TV set my phone alarm and went to bed.

I awoke the next morning all ready to go. I had gotten up at around 6 so I had plenty of time to make it to my first seminar at 8. I showered and dressed then headed out. After spending 40 plus minutes finding a way down town and then a parking space I was ready to get down to buisness. I waked in and found my friend Dennis first so I could try and coordinate that evenings activities. As I was talking to him I overheard someone talking and mentioning the time. The said it was 8:30, which by my phone was an hour off. I mentioned it to Dennis and he said something about it being an hour difference down here to up by us. Being a dense block I didn't even realize what that meant.

So I took off to make it to my seminar. As I approached the door I could hear people talking inside and then the doors opened as people left the seminar. It had just ended. I stood there and realized what a idiot I had been. I forgot to set my phone ahead an hour, but then again I thought it did that on its own.

Well that set the tone for my seminar viewing for the rest of the day. I went to the dealer hall and waked around. I stopped by the Privateer booth and saw something new. They are coming out with wreck tokens for jacks. They come in two sizes and sit on a base so they can be removed if lets say they are used for something. I like them and will be picking them up as soon as they are available through Mr.S. I have to say it was a really packed booth and I found it hard to maneuver so I didn't get a good look to see if any new mini's were being displayed. I was happy to see the interest and activity at their booth.

The other big things I saw, well the one big thing I say was Magnificent Ego's booth. They were teamed up with Dead Gentlemen Productions. The grand news is that Gamers 2 is done but now it is waiting for someone to pick it up for distribution. I saw a miniature that I wanted to check out but then decided not to cause I couldn't afford to spend that kind of money cause although I love magnificent ego's miniatures but the ones I love are REAL EXPENSIVE. It looked like an amber hulk queen cause it had wings! It was cool. The big problem now is that I cannot find it on the web to figure out it's name. Anyway while I was there I had an opportunity to talk to the guys and found out that Margret Wies productions is making a RPG for the Demon Hunters license. I have the starter rules and from what I have read it sounds like a blast.

I have a training DVD for the game and it should be funny (no I haven't looked at it as I am holding off till we all can have a look). I wanted to catch the debut showing of Gamers 2 but again I missed it cause if I tried to go I would have missed going to the VIG dinner with Dennis. Which was pretty cool. I got to see some people in the industry like Gary Gygax, Zev from Z-Man games and a few others that I don't know. It was an awesome meal with some other gamers. The meal was awesome, I mean real food not standard buffet fare.

Anyway I had a blast and it was a good time. I have a plan for next year and I will let everyone in soon.

I have to apologize to everyone for being so distant but things are just nuts around here. I keep trying to find time but every time I turn around something goes wrong or takes way longer then I planned. Tomorrow I am going to come out. I don't care what is going on I am going to come out and see everyone. I will car before just in case it is a bad idea but I am calling and coming out. I really miss seeing everyone. It really sucks. I have so much I want to do and time seems to escape me.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Love It or Leave It...

2007-08-21T21:46:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I read that title on my Sloganizer and decided to use it. Coming up with titles has become a bit of a pain as of late. Of course if I didn't insist on blogging every day it would be easier as well. What can I say I love typing stuff about my life and other stuff. Not that anyone else gives a hoot. Hence going with the title.

Well I have a boat load to cover. Gen Con is one of the biggest sources for topics and where I will start. I headed out around 9ish on Thursday and after usual boring road trip made it into Indianapolis. Now is where it gets interesting cause I picked the WRONG Motel 6. I was aiming for the one we were at last year but missed the mark. I was on the opposite side of the city, which for your information is the WRONG side to be on. Now that being said I was not in danger and there weren't drug dealers or prostitutes walking around. It was just the lack of things being clean and local. I couldn't find a decent place for breakfast except the Speedway (which has some nice options albeit not very healthy or conducive to regularity....Yuck) Also 70 was under construction which made getting downtown a bit of a sticky wicket. I had to drive through rustic suburbia (here is where the drug dealers, gang bangers and probable ladies of the evening were in their element) on the one day, then I spent 30 minutes trying to follow the rare and elusive detour signs to get on 70 another day. All in all it made getting to the con a challenge worthy of a reality TV show.

The next HUGE challenge was parking. Now I don't know if anyone remembers the parking lot across from the convention centers corner, but it was the best place to park last year. Well it was off limits this year, only State Employees were allowed in there. That sucked ASS. That left the closest parking being either the robbers at the underground cave between the Hyatt and Westyn or Mall parking. Well I spent close to half an hour both days stalking spots. I do believe it is one of the biggest problems that Indianapolis will have to address in the future.

Anyway I finally got into the center around 4ish. I hoped for and got a fast time in registration. Which from what I hear was not the case in the mornings. The real kick in the but was seeing the price. I wanted to do only two days, which at 45 dollars a day was a total of 90 dollars! Outrageous considering a 4 day pass was 75 dollars. After considering only doing Friday I decided to bite the bullet and get a 4 day pass even if I was only there for two, it was just cheaper.

Now with badge in hand (a hand written badge that is). I made my way into the dealers hall and began to get a feel for the pulse of the Con. At first I couldn't place a finger on it but I knew something was really different. I rounded the corner of the first isle and got my first real taste for the difference. The back corner of the hall was given over to the Segway challenge and several computer game companies. Now I don't have a problem with this at all I was just not expecting it. So I continued to walk and take in all that I could. I found there were a lot of small companies, quite a few more then I think where there last year, although if they are there next year is another story. With only about 40 minutes I couldn't really take any time really focusing on any given booth. Instead I was looking for anything that really stood out or caught my eye.

I have to say that nothing really did, which only added to my realization that something was different. I did see some cool stuff, like the new stuff from DCClix involving Starro including Star-struck versions of many superheroes (pun intended). I caught a glimpse of Halo clixs and it looks ok, although the to scale for the game version of a Scarab was awesome. Then I got to the second half of the hall and found one of the other biggest shocker. Wizards of the Coast was in the far back corner, not center stage or even close. I also lacked the scale of previous years. No wheel of gaming or even sections for there different games. The biggest area seemed to be for Heroscape. I bought nothing this first day cause I didn't have the time. I did see the newest game from White Wolf, Changeling. I also found the new stuff for Warmachine but more on that later.

When the hall closed I waked around. I was saddened that the art show was in the main hall cause I kind of missed being able to walk through it at length. The miniature competition was not in full swing so only a few entries were available to be viewed. So I walked the miniature gaming halls but not much was going on. As I was getting ready to leave I ran into my friends from 3D house of games, Pete Simons, Chris and Andy (I won't try and even spell their last name) and John. I ran around with them the rest of the night. We ate at the Weber Grill. It was a good meal. Then I retired.

All in all it was a good first day at the con. I was tired from the drive and power walking the hall. With a full tummy I was ready for a good night sleep.

Well I will leave the rest for my next post. I hope that all is well with all. I am still moving in. Also I am missing everyone. I have to get out to Lansing and soon. I hope that everyone is doing well.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man comes home...Finally!

2007-08-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Well I am home and done with the running around I have been doing. I have a ton to talk about but I have no time right now. I just want to stop by and tell everyone that all is good and I am very well.

I will post again in the next few day telling all about Gen Con and everything else.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Returns...Oh Wait He Is Off Again!!!

2007-08-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

I don't have a lot of time to type but I just wanted to say that I am back and heading up to see Terri at the CD release party. Tomorrow looks in jeopardy due to the rain. In fact I am going to have to say it is most likely a wash out (ha ha but I am not kidding). I do know that Terri wants to do something for Labor Day weekend and it may work out that we end up going on that Monday after a party on Sunday, which everyone is invited to.

As far as Gen Con is concerned it was a good trip, not perfect but good. Perfect is going to be next year...but that a story for later.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Countdown to GenCon

2007-08-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Well it is getting closer every minute. As I see it there is about 12 an a half hours till I take off. It is going to be an amazing weekend, crazy busy but amazing. I will roll into Indianapolis around 12 or 1 o'clock. I plan on heading back early Saturday morning and should be in town around 10 or 11 o'clock. I will be stopping around the area before I head off to met up with Terri and make our way to Chicago City Limits for the CD release party for Khaos Theory. I just found out about it earlier this week. If anyone wishes to come along that is cool. I know it is rather sudden but again I only just figured out it was this weekend.

After that wonderful evening of drunken debauchery, and as long as the weather doesn't screw things by raining we will be heading to the ren fair on Sunday.

Well I am heading off to bed so I can get up and get ready. I hope to see everyone soon and those that are off at school I hope all is well and I will hopefully see you soon.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man...Yeah that is it

2007-08-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

So things are what they are. People are starting to head off back to school. Yet again I feel the sensation of a house with all the children leaving. At times I am really glad I don't have children because I don't think I could handle watching them go away.

Well yet again I am working extra hours. Now please don't think that I am really complaining but as I have said before it is just the random nature of it all. Well no matter what I am going to Gen Con this Thursday and Friday. Then I am back in town for a few hours the off to Terri's for a trip to the Ren Fair this Sunday. Hey again anyone that wants to go with feel free to shoot me a line and we can work something. I am coming back on Sunday evening cause I work on Monday.

That is all the time I have right now. I will talk to all when I have a moment.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Rides Again!

2007-08-01T15:05:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Well the car is fixed. It was the fan and the adjoining relay that had broken not allowing the radiator to be cooled when the car is standing still or in extreme stop and go driving (like delivering mail). Well they are both replaced and everything is working up to specs.

Unfortunately that leaves me quite out of cash. That of course sucks cause it keeps me stuck here in the house and more importantly prevents me from doing the ren fair this weekend.

But that is not really uber important. I will try and be around see everyone cause I know that we are fast approaching the return to school. Which brings me to a rather painful sticking point. My game has really fallen by the way side. I apologize to all for not being able to get out there and keep it going. I only hope we can pull off at least a couple of more sessions to try and wrap things up. I am not giving up on the game but it may have to go into the freezer.

Ok I don't have much more to say right now. I miss seeing everyone. I miss swimming. I miss hanging out. In truth it really sucks ass and I am getting really pissed off about it. But there is not one damn thing I can do right now about it which is the most painful thing about it.

I hope to see everyone soon.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man Gets Hot

2007-07-28T17:55:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Things have gotten annoying. My car is giving me a royal pain in the ass. Yesterday it decided to overheat while I was working. Luckily one of the other subs could come out and drive while I delivered the mail. When I got back and started my car it was fine, on the drive home it was fine. No sign of over heating at all. This morning when I went to work it was fine. Then I started delivering the mail and it overheated again. So I had to deliver the mail with the heater blasting, what fun. So it appears that something is wrong possibly the fan or something else. Anyway it has totally screwed me. I was supposed to go up and be with Terri for her Relay for Life in Antioch. That is out. I was also hoping to get out to Lansing, that is also out. So here I get to sit on my ass with nothing to do.

Well that is about the size of it. My car is going in on my first day off which is Tuesday. I hope it is cheap cause right now I am getting really close to broke. I was trying to save some cash for GenCon but at this rate I will not even bother going. Dammit this really sucks.

The biggest thing is that I cannot go see anyone. Time is running out for hanging out, let alone maybe trying to play a game.

Well I hope everything is going well with everyone.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man...What were you expecing.......Nixon??

2007-07-26T16:42:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met one and all

Welcome to my blog.

Yes Yes I know that it has been here for awhile and I have posted a number of things here but every once and awhile it is important to stop and realize that maybe some people have stumbled on this blog and do not know me in person like most of the readers do. Of course they should go running and screaming in terror at what they read here cause I am a crazy lunatic but hey if they happen to share my insanity then welcome aboard, feel free to say hi or anything what so ever.

Also it is important to make a distinction between what came before and what will come after. Yes I have done this before but it usually accompanied me totally tossing away my blog and starting a new one. Well not this time. I have no reason to change the blog just because I have changed. But what you might ask has changed?

I have discovered my passion. Oh I have spoken on numerous occasions about how I am the defender of creativity and the champion of imagination. Well true as that may be it is also a fact that I have done little or nothing to aid that cause. That is about to change. I discovered a whole pile of stuff that I had acquired to make games with. Games that I made or were making. I have realized that my most happy moments (aside from the time I spend with Terri and my friends) are when I am plugging away at a game. From designing the story or premise to actually formulating the rules I love it all. I feel complete when I am doing it and I get a sense of satisfaction from it as well.

Now don't get me wrong I intend to keep my day job, although it may not be needed if things really take off. Oh and don't think I don't hear the naysayers "there is no market for that" "It is just a pipe dream". Yeah maybe it is but it was also the pipe dream of a little man that wanted to write stories and publish them. Stan Lee is one of my greatest inspirations and a hero of mine. He never set out to do what he did, he didn't go to school to do it and he had no training in it either. If he can do all that he has done then I can do what I dream as well. Again it won't be easy but I will make it happen!

So please realize that I am serious and I will not brook any down playing or nay saying. I don't have time to defend my choice nor am I inclined to. If you don't like it then either keep it to yourself or expect to be ignored. No I don't believe that anyone really wants to do either of those but just in case there is the warning. No one can sue me for not taking the proper precautions with hazardous matt-erial.

HA HA yes I said it and I meant it.

So I am just back from having 300 dollars I don't have ripped from my ass for my brakes. What really sucks is that I just had them done not more then a month an a half ago. Well it appears the motherless sons of mutant lame goats didn't do a good job or a proper job. Anyway my mechanic fixed it but it is going to hurt. I may have to curtail my outside activities which sucks. The one things I cannot forgo is the Relay for Life this weekend with Terri, I promised to be there and I will.

Yeah I know again a Sunday that supers may not happen, but from the way people were acting I don't think anyone really cares about it anyway.

So I am going to be blitzing this all over. August the 5th I would like to invite anyone and everyone to join myself and my good woman at the Bristol Renaissance Fair. Now I know it is short notice but it is a chance for a large group to go (since people are going back to collage). I was thinking of heading up Saturday night and people could camp out or sleep inside (remember Terri has 2 cats and 1 dog) Then an early morning jaunt up to the fair and a good day had by all.

Let me know cause if it won't work we can move it back to the 19th.

Ok that is all the time I have to type right now. See everyone soon.

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man is ALIVE....HE'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Ok Matt-man is not dead, maybe a zombie but not dead.

The Force is not a dream nor is it stupid

Oh yeah and there is a God and he hates when you say there isn't one.

No I wasn't visited by an angelic being that made me see that I was being a dumbass. I was just sitting watching "That 70's Show" and I realized that things are what they are and I need to get off my butt. Yeah there are things that are not cool in my life but they aren't going to fix themselves nor will sitting around feeling sorry for myself and whining about how things suck going to get them done. Yeah it is hard when your energy is sucked out of by life but that is the way it is.

I am not giving up. It ain't going to be easy and I have a shit-ton to learning to do but if I want my dreams to become reality I have to make it happen......

DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

I hate that phrase! I really do. It was the crappy catch phrase at Toy's R Us back in the day. It was so annoying to hear those lazy managers stand there and spout off all this crap that we had to do and then top it off with "So lets make it happen.". Such hypocrites cause they would then go and hide in the managers office or the SKU booth to avoid actually working. I hated them so much, almost as much as that phrase and here I am using it.

And meaning it, and understanding what it means! CRAP!

Ok that really depresses me. Takes all the wind out of my sails.

Well I can tell you one thing. I may "make it happen" but dammit I am doing it my way. NO TIES! NO UGLY SMOCKS! AND NO FUCKING GIRAFFES!!!!!

Yeah take that, no giraffes.

Well this post has gone way off target but I feel better.

I will talk to everyone soon, and I will post a more lucid...um post....damn that sounds stupid but what else can I call it...Oh I know a word thingy!

Yeah like I can be lucid, ha who am I kidding.

May the Force be with all of you

Excelsior!!!

Matt-Man...What we talking about?

2007-07-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

Hail and well met

Well I know I have been out of the loop. It has been real hard to run the routes I have been running, getting up at 6 to be to work by 7 and then work until 3 or 4 (on a good day that is). I get home and find I lack any energy to do much of anything but doing a few thing around here and then get to bed for the next day. I was hoping that I would be getting better at it by now but it does not seem to be working out that way.

I would normally apologize here for being gone but that is not going to happen. I am not sorry just...I guess the word is disappointed. It appears that I have been under some delusion about how life could (or as I believed, should) work. Now I can see that any idea of being my own anything was stupid. I am just a cog in someone else's machine and that is all I can ever hope to be. I don't have the skills or talents to break out and leave the slave pits behind. When I should have been learning such skills and garnering such talents I was "having fun". Stupid! I am so dumb.

I could list off a number of things that I am pissed at right now. The biggest problem is that the only one that really sticks is ME.

Yeah I thought I had come so far. Had reached such pinnacles and left these thoughts behind. Well it appears that all I was doing was lying to and disillusioning myself. I am a loser of the first magnitude and a failure to rival my Father.

Way to go Dad! You succeeded in making a better dumbass then you. GREAT!

Whatever.

There is no God.

The Force is a stupid dream

and super heroes are for children or lunatics.

Matt-Man is dead.....

2007-07-10T19:23:00.000-07:00

?????Ok it appears that I cannot enter a title for this post????
So here it goes the old fashion way.

Matt-Man is on the Job!

Hail and well met

Well things have been a bit strained as of late. I have been working which is good. On the other hand it has been insanely hot when I worked and it has been kicking my ass (quite literally but I won't go into details). It has affected my ability to do much of anything. Working on my move has come to a complete halt, well almost I did accomplish some things today but not nearly as much as I need to have done by now.

Yeah I know all things take time but this is just getting to me. I mean I need the money (boy that is an understatement) but I also need the time to get the things done that I have to get done. I guess the big problem is just the physical affect it is having on me.

I also have been dealing with the fact that I have not been able to spend the time with Terri that I need to. Oh yes believe me it has become a need and a want. I like being around her, I like the way I think around her and the way she makes me feel (no sickos I don't mean that way...but that is amazing as well) I know that I love her and I want to do the best I can to make it possible for us to be together, and that is the other half of the problem. I don't think the Post Office is going to allow that to happen. I don't know if I can explain it in words but I just have this sinking sensation that I cannot depend on this job to see me though. Maybe it is just my past experiences creeping in to my mind but it is there.

Meh I am not getting anywhere with this and I know that it doesn't resolve anything. I have to make some decisions and take some chances. Boy that is tough given my past. Ah yes old wounds never really do heal you just forget about them until they come up again and it all comes flooding back. The pain the loss and the crashing of dreams.

Again I am saying meh. I am going to do what I have to do cause the other option is to give up on having a life with Terri...well if she wants one with me.

What is going to happen will happen and there is nothing I can do about it but enjoy the ride. Maybe I can choose the seat I am sitting in? I used to sit in the back but maybe now is the time to sit in the front?

May the Force be with you

Excelsior!!!